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The post You Can’t Always Be On A Diet appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

So are you ready”

Jill Coleman is the queen of moderation. She has done this for years and is now teaching others what worked for her and what has stuck with her! She has broken it down with a PROCESS! A process that doesn’t involve white knuckling or extremes! Moderation for life, what are you saying”’ Like, is this real life’ Is this going to last forever”” Yes yes it is!

Everybody comes to a point in their life or journey where they just stop and say, You know what, I cannot go hard anymore.Or I need to stop dieting. You have to get to a point in your nutrition journey where you don’t need to or want to go really extreme anymore. And I know that there are many of you out there who have had a time where extremes worked! BUTTT If weight watchers worked, you would keep doing it, not having to keep going back” Just like in competitions, they worked while we were doing them, but that lifestyle is not something that can be done 24/7 – 365

Jills journey is something that we all too know well. She was constantly going back to sweets no matter what she did. She would binge on the weekends, just to restart on Monday. And it was getting exhausting. For years, she needed to live in control of all of her food, it was a fragile way to live and at the time she was in her head all the time and for her she liked being in control like that. When she was good, it was really good, and when it was bad, well it was really bad. And that gap, brewed shame and she didn’t like it. This is sounding familiar, isn’t it’

She had to figure out a way to EAT FOREVER. And this was how she started doing small things to eat moderately. This other thing that she has been doing for years there wasn’t working, so what is the opposite’ If it’s not, deprive binge deprive binge. What was in the middle’ So Jill started adding little things here and there throughout the week. She would give herself a little at a time and called them Nutritional Gimmes.It was this big trial and error to see if she would still binge if she gave herself these little treats here and there. And that wasn’t the case. What ended up happening, is Jill was giving herself things here and there, instead of restricting herself, and it stopped the binging! This entire process took about 3 years all together, but it STOPPED THE BINGING!

So, are you starting to question those old patterns that you may have’ If you listened to the podcast or read this blog and expose yourself to this idea it means you are on the journey and you are questioning things and want a different life for yourself. For Jill, she had to question what she was doing and what it meant to do these fitness competitions. What is at the end of this addictive behavior or fitness competitions’ She was not making money, she was not making an impact in the world, and she was not helping anyone. So why continue to do this to your body and mind if you are not getting anything out of it substantially for yourself’ These are some questions, even if you aren’t in fitness competitions that you have to ask yourself.

What does this addictive behavior of constant dieting do for you’ What is it doing for you in your life or what is it giving you’ If the answer is NOTHING. Then I suggest you do something about it! And you can start by doing little things like moderation or making small changes to get you out of that addictive behavior and actually living for you.

That is how change is made little, tiny decisions. We are so trained to not care about the small things and only care about the go big or go home mentality. People feel like the win has to be this huge thing to count. So how can we change the dialogue that small is still worthy’ Or change this all or nothing mentality’

One way is to look at these health behaviors cumulatively. Every choice I make moves me closer to health or more away from health, right’ So where exactly is that sweet spot’ Let’s take working out for example. That 20 minutes workout is better than nothing. So look at it as you actually got up and moved your body! That is the sweet spot between working out for hours which you don’t feel like doing, or not moving at all.
A little movement a few times a week adds up and is so good!! What is your sweet spot for you’

How do you get someone to see that 5 minutes is ok’ Something isn’t nothing, so make peace with compromise!

This way is easier than ever when it comes to food! Think about it less because too much thinking is obsession, and no thinking is shut down mode and we binge! So once again, we need to find that middle ground, that sweet spot and that is mindfulness. That is mindful eating. It takes practice. Believe me. But you can get there. Moderation 365 by Jill helps you to feel what it is like and the more you practice it becomes second nature! So, in a way learning to eat moderately and mindfully is really unlearning a lot of diet behaviors. Right”’

Pick and choose nutritional battles!
Where are your big non-negotiables when it comes to what you are eating daily’ Where are the things you are unwilling to negotiate on’ Is it coffee with creamer and sugar every morning’ Is it a glass of wine 1-2 nights a week’ Is it that favorite candy bar once a week’ We need to relearn discernment, relearn what works best for you. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it, if you like it, eat it. Eat what works for you and what you like. This will feel less like you are restricting yourself on a daily basis. Because when you pull away things you absolutely love, that is where there is going to be a problem.

What do you do when you are craving something’
You eat it But when you do this, practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the mac daddy tool when it comes to this! It is the thing that allows you to have a couple of bites of something and come back later to it. Just think of it as it will always be there for you later, if you are still craving it, come back to it later. It. Will. Still. Be. THERE! And seriously. This terrifies people! They think, Oh, I can’t have it in my house, I can’t be around it. And trust me, I know! It was me! But you have to have this practice and belief that it is possible for you! Then take strategic steps to do it!

Tools in moderation – Intermittent Sampling
This is essentially exposure therapy. This is an idea that we have to expose ourselves to things that we are scared of. Whatever food item you think you can’t trust yourself around, we have to intentionally buy that food and keep it in the house. We want you to have ice cream, have a portion every night this week and if you want more, wait 20 minutes, and see if you want another serving. If you do no issues and no judgement, then wait another 20 minutes. Give yourself time to assess how you are feeling vs just sitting with the whole thing and binging. This is the start to Mindfulness practice of, Do I want more, YES OR NO’

It’s a small practice, but over time you will say, Well, I don’t want ice cream tonight. I don’t need it tonight.And guess what’ You exposed yourself to it enough that it loses its hold over you!!! If you just get used to it being there, then you won’t want it all the time. And this is something that Jill teaches her clients in her course.

If I am a junk food junkie, am I better off exposing myself to 1 thing at a time vs all of it at once’
Definitely just one thing at a time just so you can see that it is possible, and you will be like ok! It works! Then as you reintroduce more, it will be simpler because you know you can do it! Whatever the top dog item is for you, get it in the house and start practicing.

You have to have a moment where you say, I don’t want to diet anymore. I dont want to do this anymore.

Eating in Moderation and having mindfulness when it comes to how we eat is so important and I think it will change your life. There is work to get there in moderation.

It will take time. But you can get there. You have to get to that point where you are ready for a final solution and be done dieting for good! Always practice mindfulness, but you have to have the courage. And you also have to slow down a bit when working on this. Slow down the urgency to get things done asap because this may take a year. But guess what’ A year from now you will have a solution that works for you, all your clothes will fit, and you won’t think about food all the time, AND you can skip the gym and have no issues!! And just think. Some of us diet for decades, so 1 year is nothing!!!!! So just ask yourself, Am I willing to put in this practice and be patient’

The one thing Jill has taught me over the years is that you have to have a strategy! You can have all the plans, but you have to have a strategy and a process. With her Moderation 365, there is a process because you have to know where you are in the road map. That is why Moderation 365 is so amazing because it IS A PROCESS! And that is what we need. In the Moderation 365 curriculum, we also break it down. So, when I say moderation, here is what that looks like in real time! Here are the tools and benchmarks that we will know if this is moderate in a certain experience. Then you can be mindful of it.

The really cool thing about mindfulness practice is it’s like a slingshot. You are going slow, slow, slow then all of a sudden you are like oh! I am mindful all the time!!
The practice at the beginning is like pulling teeth, trust me it will, but then one day you will wake up and you will just feel it in your body all the time! You will be in touch with your hunger, your cravings, your satisfaction, your fullness. If you continue to practice this mindfulness and moderation, you will wake up one day and you will feel it and you will have this completely different relationship with food! And THAT is our ultimate goal!

Moderation is possible!! EVEN THOUGH it is a word that is meh THERE IS A WAY FOR YOU TO NOT LOSE YOUR SHIT WITH FOOD!!

There is a light on the other side!

What is one thing that makes you feel magical’

The thing that makes me feel the most magical honestly, is when I see my clients get incredible results. Because to me, that’s when we talk about impact. We talk about meaning, we talk about purpose, and when we talk about that a little bit, we talk about this idea of getting outside of it just being about you. When I see clients getting wins with stuff in there going, Wow, I never thought this would be possible for me. I never thought that I could do this.To me, that is everything!

So what makes me feel more magical is seeing the ripple effect and knowing that my own journey wasn’t for nothing! Like now, we’ve learned all this stuff and we’re implementing this stuff and people are actually doing it!! They’re actually experiencing a huge lifestyle transformation and a huge life change. To me that just means so much and my heart explodes when I see stuff like that.

**Learn all about Jill and all of the amazing things she is doing to help people with the links below! She has tons of ways to learn more from her social media page to her website as well as her courses! So check her out! And give her a follow!

LINKS

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/kimbarnesjeffersoncoach

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website: https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Where to find Jill Coleman

Instagram.com/jillfit
Facebook.com/jillfit
Jillfit.com
Moderation365 Cert Black Friday/cyber Monday:

The post Is it Possible To Eat In Moderation appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

Here is Mandy’s story!

I turned 40 last year, and I was tired all the time! I had little to no energy, and all I wanted to do was just be able to play with my daughter who was 3 at the time. So, I took to Google and searched for help for women in their 40’s and found Kim’s Fit Girl Magic podcast and website. I joined the Fit Girl Magic Facebook group and felt this huge connection to Kim and knew that I wanted to work with her.

I wanted to feel better, it had been so long since I had just felt really good. And I had no clue what I was doing wrong. I was eating well, and I was working out! But something wasn’t clicking, and I needed help. I needed someone to coach me because I wasn’t getting the answers or the results doing it on my own. So, I told my husband for Christmas I wanted to work with Kim for my Christmas present and I started with Lean & Sexy.

[ Lean & Sexy is one of my short term programs that really just helps you to give you the basics, the framework and answer some of the questions like, why isn’t this working for me’ ]

From Lean & Sexy, I moved onto Kim’s monthly membership program, The Fit Girl Magic Society. In this program is when Kim helped me to realize that I wasn’t eating enough protein in my vegan diet. So, I went with a vegetarian diet instead and introduced cottage cheese and yogurts, etc. into my diet to help up the protein! I did exactly what Kim said, and I started really feeling better!! I could actually play with my daughter at the end of the day and not feel like a zombie. It was really amazing.

I loved working with Kim because she takes the approach of trial and error. We don’t always know what is going to work with our bodies, so it is about trying something and seeing what happens. If it doesn’t work with me, we try something different. And I know without this, and Kim’s help I would never have gotten to where I am now without her. I am not a health export and could not decipher through all of the information being thrown at me on a daily basis, so I needed someone to help me with this and she did that.

Kim also taught me that I wasn’t getting enough strength training. I needed to do strength training more than I was and when I started doing that and lifting heavier – 3 times a week – I really noticed a difference! I wasn’t doing all of that before and now I feel stronger through lifting! I also love all of the mobility exercises and functional movements that she taught me.

As a result of all of this, I feel like I have more energy, have so much more confidence when it comes to approaching food and exercise now. I am moving the way my body is meant to do, and I am fueling my body the way it is meant to be fueled. I truly feel amazing and everything in my life has changed for the better.

I actually broke down and cried one day because I was outside running with my daughter, and I wasn’t tired. I am just so thankful because I feel better than I did when I was in my 20’s!

If you are considering working with a health coach, guys just do it! I really thought that I was eating healthy but there were alot of things I could change! Everyone can benefit from having a coach because there are so many things you don’t know that they can help you with. You will definitely benefit from someone’s knowledge that is their area of expertise and can help you. And be patient, things don’t happen overnight. Give yourself grace and patience. Be willing to work with the coach and take their advice and actually listen to them and what they have to say because they can help you get those results. Doing this is really life changing!

Magic makers, I want you to get to a point in your life where you aren’t freaking out over every last thing you put in your mouth, or if you wake up worrying about when you are going to work out and if you did enough. I want you to get to a place where this lifestyle and your health and fitness is as easy as breathing. I don’t want you to feel like you are dieting. I want you to feel like you are LIVING!

Let’s talk! If you have questions or just want to hope on a call to talk about what you got going on in your life, let’s do it! Or reach out to me on social media! I cannot wait to meet you and help you get started on your fitness journey!!!

LINKS

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/kimbarnesjeffersoncoach

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website: https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

#foreverfatloss
https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/hlf_2021

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What is it to be patient’
To be patient in the results you are working towards.
To have patience in the process. This had me thinking about this because some things came up in my current summer program with new clients. They wanted just a meal plan given to them to follow and they will do it! But wait…. That is what we USED TO DO, not what we do now! We used to think a meal plan would give us a magical transformation, and BOOM. That is not how it is…

A meal plan is not Amazon Prime. It is not going to give you the transformation you want, so instead, what if you shifted your focus to making little changes that you can do and then, have patience.

Transformation is about patience….

Look at where we have been for the last year and a half. For most of us we can’t go from almost a year in a half kind of sorta, to being ready to hit the ground running in 3.3 seconds. THIS is not how our bodies work. Like it or lump it our bodies don’t just turn on the dot. I wish it was an Amazon prime situation, but it’s not.. Let’s be honest. NOW is the time to really focus on patience. Can we slow down for a hot minute and really make this happen’

Let’s dive into what you have to do before getting started. First you have to understand what your motivation is. Why are you resistant to the change’ What comes up for you that makes you feel uncomfortable that you have to pump the brake on’
Why is it so important to change right now, vs. 3,6 months from now’ We live in an instant gratification world, so it is your responsibility to move past that and get down to your why so that you can be clear on what you want your outcome to be.

Get clear with your outcome. Define it, be clear on that definition so that everyone knows exactly where you are coming from.

Now, back to patience. The definition is your ability to tolerate discomfort. Losing weight and doing something different can be the definition of discomfort for some of us. Waiting for something we desire does bring up negative feelings because we don’t want to wait! You want to lose weight, why can’t it be right now!’ And then you turn to negativity when it doesn’t come as fast as you would like it to. Not sure who needs to hear this, but your weight did not come on fast, so losing it is not going to be fast. It is going to take time, and that takes patience… See how we are always coming back to patience’ 12

Our patience is greatly developed throughout our lives. Some of us have patience for one thing but not for another thing. It took me 6 years to get the patience that I have now.
But it had to be shaken into me that I had to have a path and a process, or I’d be repeating the same thing over and over again and get frustrated. So, in order to find that patience, I had to create a path, know my why, my motivation and create a process.

So why do we need patience anyways’
1. Well first, patience is amazing because it lowers our stress levels. When we develop patience around areas of our life, it helps to reduce the stress around those areas. (Being on high alert isn’t something our bodies are used to so it’s not good to be that way all the time. )
2. When you have patience, you don’t go to that negative place. You stay positive and on the right path to continue to your outcome.
3. When you have patience, you make improved decisions, not radical decisions.
4. When you have patience you have more control and resiliency and that helps you to in turn make educated decisions.
5. When you have patience, you are not continuously future-casting or over thinking.

This quote from Arthur Ashe has helped me when I find myself in that over thinking mindset.
“Start where you are, do what you can with what you have.”

Start where you are and do an assessment where you are when you get started.
? How is my sleep’
? How is my stress’
? How is the food I am eating’
? How are your workouts doing’
? What is not in alignment with you getting to your goal in the next 6 months’

Now… If you are someone just getting into working out again, you are not going to get to where you were back then right away. (This also goes for those coming out of the Rona-haze.) So, start with where you are, commit to 2 days a week of working out, have a salad for lunch every day, and try making sure you are going to bed on time and sleeping enough.) Believe me, it is much better to commit to a few things instead of ALLLL the things. Because when we do that, we will get pissed and lose patience!

Think about….

What causes you to be impatient with your goals’ Are you triggered by social media’
What triggers you’ Comments by others’ A random person or from a doctor’ How do you move on to get started’ How do you slow down to speed up’
There has to be a plan because how you get to your goals is how you keep your goals. Why do we feel like we need to get to a goal by a certain time’ Why do we feel that pressure’

Decide….
What is the GPS address to your destination’ Where are you going’ What are your goals’ What are the regular obstacles that come up’ When you are trying to achieve this goal, what are the obstacles that regularly pop up for you’ And how do you get through them’ Do you need support for getting through these obstacles’ (And please believe that this is not a sign of weakness) Stop letting your perfectionism hold you back. Ask questions and get the help and support you need in order to get to your goals.

Decide that you can’t have it overnight, but you can have this! It is accessible to you! And it will come when it comes!

Then, decide on those 1-3 things that you can do every single day to get you closer to your goals. Your non-negotiables to help you build your long lasting habits.

This is about how you sit in discomfort….. The discomfort of waiting. How do you sit in it’ Because that will help you to make better decisions. Patience is a choice…
You decide that it’s worth learning or you decide if it’s worth repeating the same patterns over and over again.

This is why I created Lifestyle 66. It is a way to show you how you build your own particular habits. Take meal plans for example. If they worked for everyone, everyone would have 1 meal plan for the rest of their life, and it would work magically. Meal plans only work until they don’t. With a meal plan, you go on vacation and you’re like crap!

So, this program helps you to create a habit over 66 days. This will give you a visual representation of how to do that. Pick any habit you want to accomplish over 66 days and you have me to help you and guide you through that. I will help you get through obstacles, as well as brainstorm strategies and tips on how to get you through the first 66 days of that habit.

If you are interested, shoot me a message on social media or send me an email and we can set up a time to talk to help you get through Lifestyle 66!!! I look forward to seeing you there!

LINKS
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/kimbarnesjeffersoncoach
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/
Website: https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

The post Why You Need To Practice Patience To Achieve Your Goals appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.