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	<title>flipflopsunday Archives - Kim Barnes Jefferson</title>
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	<description>I help women who feel like your body gave you the finger</description>
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	<title>flipflopsunday Archives - Kim Barnes Jefferson</title>
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		<title>Apparently Relaxing Now Comes With Guilt</title>
		<link>https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/apparently-relaxing-now-comes-with-guilt/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Kim Barnes Jefferson]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 Jul 2026 20:07:43 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flip flop life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flip flop sunday]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flipflopsunday]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[womenover40]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Last Friday I got invited on a boat ride to Newport. My first thought wasn&#8217;t, That sounds fun. It was, I have too much shit to do. Backstory. Tuesday I drove up to Cambridge. Thursday I hosted Philip&#8217;s old boss. So by the time Friday rolled around, my internal you&#8217;ve-got-shit-to-do radar was in full swing. [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/apparently-relaxing-now-comes-with-guilt/">Apparently Relaxing Now Comes With Guilt</a> appeared first on <a href="https://kimbarnesjefferson.com">Kim Barnes Jefferson</a>.</p>
]]></description>
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<p>Last Friday I got invited on a boat ride to Newport. My first thought wasn&#8217;t, That sounds fun. It was, I have too much shit to do.</p>
<p>Backstory.</p>
<p>Tuesday I drove up to Cambridge. Thursday I hosted Philip&#8217;s old boss. So by the time Friday rolled around, my internal you&#8217;ve-got-shit-to-do radar was in full swing.</p>
<p>Productive Kim had already made a to-do list on Wednesday because I knew Thursday would be a wash.</p>
<p>Taking one day off already had me feeling behind.</p>
<p>(I&#8217;m my own boss. I gave myself the day off. I still felt behind.)</p>
<p>So Friday, guilty and behind schedule, I got on the boat.</p>
<p><strong>The Moment I Almost Missed</strong></p>
<p>Somewhere out on the water, Philip&#8217;s friend pointed toward a beach and started telling us about it. I was sitting right next to him.</p>
<p>I wasn&#8217;t listening.</p>
<p>A few minutes later, I realized I&#8217;d missed half the story. I had no idea what beach we were looking at or why it was special, because I&#8217;d spent the entire conversation mentally rearranging my week.</p>
<p>The sky was blue. The water was calm. Newport looked like it belonged on a postcard. And I was giving my attention to things that could have easily waited till we got home.</p>
<p>Nothing was wrong. In fact, everything was right.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s the part that stopped me. I had finally made time for something I genuinely wanted to do, and my brain refused to come with me. It made me wonder how many good moments I&#8217;ve half-lived because I was already thinking about what came next.</p>
<p>How many dinners? <br />How many vacations? <br />How many walks? <br />How many ordinary Tuesdays?</p>
<p><strong>A Different Way to Measure a Good Life</strong></p>
<p>Lately this quote has been living rent-free in my head:</p>
<p><em><strong>A day well lived beats a day well used.</strong></em></p>
<p>The older I get, the more I think that&#8217;s a completely different way to measure a life.</p>
<p>Not: Did I get enough done?<br />But: Was I actually there for it?</p>
<p>Maybe we spend so much time trying to build the &#8220;perfect&#8221; life that we forget to notice when we&#8217;re actually living it.</p>
<p>Maybe the goal isn&#8217;t building the perfect life. Maybe it&#8217;s getting better at noticing the one you&#8217;re already living.</p>
<p><strong>A Small Experiment</strong></p>
<p>The next time you find yourself somewhere you&#8217;ve been looking forward to, ask yourself one question:</p>
<p><strong><em>Am I here&#8230; or is my brain somewhere else?</em></strong></p>
<p>Don&#8217;t judge yourself. Don&#8217;t try to fix it. Just notice.</p>
<p>You might be surprised by how often your body arrives before your attention does.</p>
<p>What&#8217;s the last time you were somewhere wonderful but your brain was somewhere else? Tell me in the comments, I&#8217;d love to hear.</p>
<p>P.S. I&#8217;ve been thinking about creating something that quietly reminds you to notice the day you&#8217;re actually in instead of racing to the next one. I&#8217;ll share more soon.</p>
<p><a class="a2a_dd addtoany_share_save addtoany_share" href="https://www.addtoany.com/share#url=https%3A%2F%2Fkimbarnesjefferson.com%2Fapparently-relaxing-now-comes-with-guilt%2F&#038;title=Apparently%20Relaxing%20Now%20Comes%20With%20Guilt" data-a2a-url="https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/apparently-relaxing-now-comes-with-guilt/" data-a2a-title="Apparently Relaxing Now Comes With Guilt"><img src="https://static.addtoany.com/buttons/share_save_120_16.png" alt="Share"></a></p><p>The post <a href="https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/apparently-relaxing-now-comes-with-guilt/">Apparently Relaxing Now Comes With Guilt</a> appeared first on <a href="https://kimbarnesjefferson.com">Kim Barnes Jefferson</a>.</p>
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