I see them getting overwhelmed by too many choices and not knowing which direction to turn or not having confidence in themselves about just going for it. Several years ago when I looking to make a big career shift it was recommended to me to read the book, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway. That book has helped me so much. Anytime I feel the butterflies in my stomach when I’m trying something new, I take a deep breath and just go for it.

Self-confidence helps us believe that we can handle whatever task or challenge comes our way. Who couldn’t use a little more of that. With all that is going in life it’s so easy to get bogged down with reading and gathering information. Raise your hand if you’ve been guilty of this, too busy planning, and feeling the fear that it wouldn’t be perfect to take action. Yes, planning is important, but if you fail to implement your plan, you won’t see results, no matter how perfect the plan is.

Wanna boost your confidence” Give these 6 things a try.

1. Get specific. Let me ask you on a scale of 1-10, how confident are you that you can tie your shoes drive a car or brush your teeth’ You said 10 right”

Now let’s take a look at some situations where you’d like to feel more self-confident. Let’s make a list. Some examples might include dating situations, public speaking, meeting new people, being more assertive at work, or getting and staying fit. .

2. Build YOUR self-confidence definition Find a time when you have at least 20 minutes and journal down about a half-page of notes regarding the specific situation where you wish you had more self-confidence. How would you act’ How would you look to others’ How would you feel’ Think about your body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and breathing. I want you to feel this in your body. Lisa Nichols talks about how she use to visual sniffing Oprah Winfrey’s couch when she was writing her section of the book, The Secret. When did appear on the show she was frustrated because they weren’t sitting on her couch so she couldn’t smell the leather.

Make sure you define and understand what self-confidence looks like to you. When you can describe what you confidence to FEEL like for you. Each person have a different definition.

3. Hindsight is 20/20. Close your eyes and imagine that you’ve already been through the situation your desire. Now visualize yourself being incredibly self-confident. Put in as much detail as possible. Really take the time to feel this!! I know it sounds a little hairy fairy, but when you get the feeling that you have achieved this it will shift your brain to help know what achievement feels like. Seriously, See yourself acting in accordance with the definition that you’ve listed in the previous step.

Do this visualization at least once a day until it’s 100% believable to you. The best time to do this is, first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed. This is when you brain is more likely to receive it. Then when you face the situation that you want have more confidence in, give it a try. Ladies, it’s not about perfection. The focus should be on your personal growth testing yourself so that you can grow into this new found confidence..

4. Get physical. I’m a huge believer in change your body change your mind. Attempt to sit, walk, talk, and act like a confident person. Intentionally try to take on the physical characteristics of someone that’s brimming with self-confidence. Smile and stand up straight. Use good eye contact.

Before you realize it, this will become a habit. Your current physicality is merely a poor habit. Form a new, positive habit of using confident body language.

5. Stretch yourself. Come up with a list of activities that will stretch your confidence muscles. It can be little tasks that you find slightly uncomfortable. It could be standing in the front of the room in your kickboxing class; maybe it’s starting a conversation with a stranger. As these little challenge become more comfortable, you can concentrate on more difficult tasks.

Building self-confidence requires action. Take some time each day to work on your self-confidence. There are few things that will have a greater positive impact on your life than increasing the level of confidence you have in yourself.

Create an action plan and stick to it. Self-confidence can be very easy to build if you make the effort. A little work can result in huge rewards

Would you love a little help to get you going” Would you like to feel free and confident in your body” Will you give it 5 days”

The post 6 Ways to Build Your Self-Confidence appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

We all have seeds of negativity that are constantly being sewn in our lives, and it’s up to us to spot and weed them out as soon as they take root. If you leave these influences to flourish, it will someday feel out of control and you won’t know how to get back to a place that’s manageable. 

Sure we all have outside influences, but one of the biggest negative factors comes from our own mindset. It can be as simple as trashing decisions and never giving ourselves a chance to succeed.

We do this is self-preservation. We want to be smart. If we predict failure, and it comes true – then we were smart and we didn’t fail. If we don’t get our hope up then we can’t have high expectations.

What’s Your Negative Self Talk’ 

You might say things like, “I can never lose weight, every time I’ve tried I’ve lost a little but it always come back and brings friends!” Raise your hand if you stand in the mirror wishing you reflection looked different’ Maybe you don’t even look in the mirror any more cause you just can’t stand what you see.

Maybe you are trying to workout and you skip a workout or two and every time you miss one , you beat yourself up brutally, calling yourself stupid.

Do you have negative people in your life’

Does your negativity come from other people’ Do you play the comparison game’ Looking at other’s social media feeds and seeing where they are in their journeys’ compared to yours’ Maybe you have people in your life who don’t think you can be successful with getting healthy. They aren’t there support your healthy journey.

If you want to overcome this negativity you have to first be honest about how negative you are. Start to recognize if you call yourself names (or other who are having the success that you want’).

Do you say, “Ugh! I’m so stupid for not _________,” How about you turn it around and say, “Actually, I’m giving it everything I’ve got, so I’m still proud of myself for trying, even if I screwed up this time.

Replace the negative with the positive. Practice positive affirmations if you want to, you can search the Internet for them, but I want them to sound like you so make sure you edit them to sound like you

I’ve mentioned that some of the negativity in our lives comes from outside sources. Your family can wreak havoc on your success just by being negative about your efforts – or about life in general.

It’s hard to wake up positive and motivated every day when you’re around someone who drags you down in life. It’s worse when they direct their negativity toward you.

A parent might say, “You still haven’t lose any weight’” Your spouse might say, “Not another diet’” You might have aunts, uncles, and cousins who chime in on where you are in your journey.

I’ve in the place where I haven’t felt fully supported and it sucks out loud!! – especially if it’s your loved ones. These are the people who should be cheering you on. There’s really nothing that can stop that pain. You can decide whether or not you’ll put up with it and let it affect your progress.

Their negativity isn’t about you. Some people are just negative nellies– always complaining about the weather, their job, the traffic, and so on.

It can very toxic being around negative people on a regular basis.

Why do people who are supposed to have your back try to cripple your progress’ Sometimes, like your family, they mean well – and they think they’re saving you from making a big mistake.

Other times, it’s a jealousy issue with friends. Maybe they have tried and failed multiple times trying to lose weight. Maybe they see how successful you are and may lose you to this healthier lifestyle.

So what comes out of their mouths isn’t supportive and well-meaning. It’s a cheap shot, aimed at defeating your mindset so that you’ll get on par with everyone else and they won’t have to feel bad about their own decisions. We’ve all heard this you can have just one or are you too good for us. Anything to make you feel like shit for trying to take bigger steps toward helps.

To win with these folks you need to set firm boundaries. Let them know that you’re proud of what it is that you’re doing and if they can’t be supportive, then the issue will be off the table for further discussions.

Don’t try to explain every element of your journey to someone who puts it down. They won’t understand because they don’t want to. You’ll be wasting your time and end up frustrated.

Instead, set boundaries, and if they continue invading your space about the issue, make a decision about whether or not you need to have this person staying in your life any longer.

You may think that as long as you keep yourself and those closest to you in real life, you’ll be well on your way to a positive mindset. Unfortunately, we often rely on our online support network to achieve success.

Is it time to straight up block some people’

If your network is filled with Negative Nellies you gotta flip the script or you won’t ever be successful.

These means unfollowing someone on Facebook, this step may help you to set yourself free from the sadness and anger they like to spew about how they feel mistreated.

As you begin weeding out your negative influences – in real life and online – you have to replace it with something that will benefit you. The first thing you want to do is make positivity a way of life for you.

That means in your parenting, in your relationship, in your finances, in your life overall – everywhere. Not just when it comes to your health. If you try to only stay positive in your when it comes to your health, it will be hard to stay afloat because the rest of your world feels like it’s crumbling.

This weeding of toxic influences should happen regularly. The more aware you become of how other people affect your own mindset; you can easily make a plan of action to handle them.

Will they simply be tuned out whenever you encounter them’ Will you set boundaries and keep them at arm’s length’ Or is the influence so troubling that it’s in your best interest to close the door completely’

Aside from stopping yourself from saying negative things and replacing them with good thoughts, work on other ways to continually let go of negativity and find the silver lining in every moment.

What are you thankful for’ 

The best way I’ve found to start thinking in a positive way is to start a gratitude journal. I started with writing 3 things that I am grateful for. It doesn’t have to be huge thing. I can be simply that you re thankful that you got a parking spot. Now the key is to say why you are thankful it. So I’d write thank you for the amazing parking spot. By getting this spot it helped me to get to class on time without stressing. When I go to class unstressed I’m better at supporting my students.

You can buy a plain journal anywhere or you can start with the 5-minute journal. I have some great quotes and prompts if that’s what you need. Journaling can happen in the morning or evening whatever works for you.

Do things that promote positive energy, like laughing. Watch comedies or find videos on You Tube that crack you up. . For me it’s videos of people scaring each other or motivational videos by Eric Thomas. Turn off the news. It can be depressing and make you feel like everything’s going wrong, all of the time. This includes the alerts!

Try to meditate, do some yoga, use guided visual imagery or other practices that can help you chill.

I know this may seem like a lot but cleaning up the negativity in your life will be an on-going process that doesn’t happen overnight. But once you’re able to spot people who aren’t good for you, you’ll begin to see that you achieve more and enjoy your career more than ever before

The post Kick Negative Thinking To The Curb!! appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.