We are all guilty of it and it’s get even harder in this social media world. We see the world’s highlights. The vacations they are going on, he clients they have just got, the dream wedding, the kids who help with the chores around the house or the loving partner that they have found. If you find yourself gauging your life with that of others, you are not alone.

Sure making comparisons of your looks, possessions or lifestyle to that of others can be a source or motivation, it has its downsides as well. It becomes a problem when you start to gauge your own self-worth based on the accomplishments, qualities or possessions of others. I will share with you  5 reasons why you shouldn’t compare yourself to help you not fall pray the comparison trap.

#1: It Will Straight Up Steal Your Joy

It is natural to want what other people have. When you see this and it makes your cray cray, then it’s time to check yourself.  You maybe sabotaging your own happiness because you will feel mediocre compared to others.

If find your self constantly comparing yourself with others to determine your worth. You will always feel triggered, pissed off and never good enough.

#2: Sets You Up for Failure

You will always feel like you are lacking in something. Every time you look or scroll around, there will always be someone who is more successful, more talented, better looking or generally doing better than you in life. Constantly judging yourself based on what you don’t have, will cause your self-esteem to plummet. It could lead to feelings of never measuring up potentially a viscous cycle into giving up on your goals.

#3: Comparisons Disregard Differences in Personal Circumstances

Most people don’t take into account personal differences between themselves and celebrities or peers they compare themselves to. As a result, successful people come off as overnight sensations while in fact that is never the case. There are no overnight sensations, just so you know!! The truth is we all have struggles and setbacks on the path to success. That is life. You can’t truly judge your own worth by comparing yourself to someone leading a completely different life and in totally different circumstance than yours. I see it all the time, women will look in the magazines and say I wish I had so and so’s abs, or such such’s butt.

Two things I want you to consider.

1. When you make that comparison to the model in the magazine are you willing to do what it takes to do that’
2. The body that you are looking at sometimes is photoshopped.

Instead what if you focused on being the best possible person that you could be.

#4: You Feel Superior’

Do you feel better get a boost in your self-esteem when you feel that some people are “beneath” you’ Sure it feels good, but do you ever grow and get to where you want to be” Instead of trying to pass yourself off as better than everyone else, make comparisons with people who are better than you in one respect or another and use their success as an example you can try to copy.

#5: You Don’t Know The Back Story

Remember you are looking at most people’s highlight reel. There is no such thing as a perfect life. Everyone experiences challenges in their life. Not everyone is perfect nor are their lives. They aren’t always as blissful, happy and perky as everyone thinks.

Stop making yourself crazy by trying to compare yourself with a celebrity or peer you perceive to have a perfect life is setting standards that those people perhaps don’t even match up to. So, the next time you find yourself comparing your life to that of a neighbor, friend or superstar, remember that you don’t necessarily know every detail about their life. One of best things I’ve ever heard is you never know what happens behind closed doors.

Would you like to dive deeper into breaking this habit’‘  In just 21 days, you’ll:

>>>>The ability to create a mindset to bust through the plateaus that have kept you stuck

>>>>The power to stop giving a shit about other people and zero in on what matters to you so that you learn how to create a plan that is unique to you

>>>>A way to set flexible boundaries that don’t leave you feeling trapped and obsessing over what you can and can’t have

The post 5 Ways To Break Up With The Comparison Game appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

Love Yourself First

 If you want to be happy, learn to love yourself first. So what does loving yourself mean’ If you are a parent, you know that special love you feel for your child’ That’s the love you should give to yourself as well.

We are so incredibly hard on ourselves. It’s become a habit to bash the shit out of ourselves about all of our failing or shortcomings. Our internal critic is one bossy mean bitch. You can pull out of that spiral write down everything thing you say that you aren’t and turn it around. So when you say that will never lose those last 10 pounds it’s the way it is.

You would say I am easily losing these last 10 pounds with grace and ease. I know this seems hairy fairy, but you have nothing to lose right now you are beating the crap out of yourself and what” Nothing, if you showed a little love and support what could happen.

When your children try something new do you shame them into thinking that it’s not for them or do you encourage them to keep going even if they don’t get it on the first try’ Exactly!!

Love Yourself with Childlike Wonder

Do you remember the childlike abandon in play’ You saw others having fun and succeeding and you wanted to try. You never wondered if you would look bad or fail, you just hopped in and hoped for the best. When was the last time you felt like that’

The inner child has been wounded by our bad life experiences, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not and by what life has delivered to your doorstep. But if you’re willing you can get back in touch with that inner child and free it, you can begin living a life of pure and utter joy.

Last week I was meeting with one of my business partners and we were making goals for the next 90 days. I turned to her three year old twins and asked them what their goals were. Mara said she wanted to play outside in the sunshine and Gina said she wanted to blow as many bubbles as possible.

There was no hesitation in how will this work or I failed in the past so I might as well not try. It was all about going for it!!

Honor Yourself

Learn to honor yourself – this is important if you want to be happy. Accept your feelings and don’t repress them. This doesn’t mean you always spout your feelings to the world. But between you and you, accept how you feel, sit with your feelings, breathe through them, feel them. When you suppress your emotions, you stop the healing. Many times we just need to get them out so that we can acknowledge and then start to the do the work to move past them. Most of the time if you just let the bad feelings be and accept that bad things do happen in life and don’t try to find blame or a reason, you’ll find that you’ll be better able to honor the process and where you are in it.

Once you identify your feelings and begin loving yourself, a freedom starts to grow in you that’s unlike anything you’ve experienced.

Now Share That Love with Others

Loving yourself opens your eyes to what’s possible for you. Sharing your journey with others brightens both yours lives. Who doesn’t like to feel included’ Another way you can learn how to be happy for others without feeling jealous or vindictive.

If you find yourself “hurt” or “triggered” by what someone has said to you, try asking yourself why. When you delve down into the feelings, you’ll understand that you’ve been hurt or triggered because of something you believe about yourself, not necessarily what the person outside of you is saying.

When it comes right down to it, the world could use more people who’ve learned to embrace their inner child, turned off the voice of that inner critic, and loved themselves into happiness.

This is all about creating habits. To make this a habit focus on the enjoyment of making positive changes in your life, create social accountability by telling your friends that you acted on the good habit, and rewarding yourself.

The post How to Be Happy for Others without Being Jealous appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

Taking care of my skin, teeth, and hair also helps me realize my positive physical attributes. When I look in the mirror, I focus on what is positive about my body.

I feel a certain sense of pride about my body. Because I am intricately connected with it, I ensure I think only positive thoughts about my physique.

Although there are a few areas I want to change, I still find myself seeing the good in what I have been given. I know that if I work hard, I can enhance my body and keep it healthy.

When I decide to make a change in my body, whether it is toning and strengthening my muscles or losing a few pounds, I notice how well my body responds. I am fascinated by the fact that when I work for the physical attributes I desire, my body works for me.

Today, I ponder the best features of my body, as well as those areas I seek to change. I love the idea that I can decide to change certain attributes if I so desire. Ultimately, accepting my body just the way it is brings me peace and happiness.

The post I accept my body just the way it is. appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.