For the longest time, I thought I just needed more sleep.

Earlier bedtime.

Better pillow.

Cooler room.

Less caffeine.

More magnesium.

But lately I’ve started wondering if sleep and rest are actually two different things.

Because you can technically sleep all night and still wake up exhausted.

Not because your body didn’t get enough hours.

Because your brain never actually clocked out.

It spent the night replaying conversations.

Running tomorrow’s to-do list.

Remembering you forgot to switch the laundry.

Wondering if everyone else is okay.

Mentally wiping down the kitchen counters before your feet even hit the floor.

Sound familiar?

Sleep Isn’t the Same as Rest

I think a lot of women have become experts at being tired.

Not dramatic movie-scene tired.

Just a low-grade exhaustion that hangs around in the background.

The kind where you tell yourself:

“I’m fine.”

“I’ll catch up this weekend.”

“Things will slow down after this week.”

Except somehow there’s always another week.

Another project.

Another responsibility.

Another person who needs something.

And before long, exhaustion starts feeling normal.

Not good.

Not healthy.

Just normal.

The Lie We Started Believing

Somewhere along the way, a lot of us picked up the idea that rest is something we earn.

After the dishes.

After the laundry.

After the work is done.

After everyone else is taken care of.

After we’ve proven we’ve been productive enough.

Like rest is some magical reward waiting for us at the top of Productivity Mountain.

The problem?

The mountain keeps getting taller.

There’s always one more thing.

One more email.

One more errand.

One more task you forgot about.

So rest gets pushed to tomorrow.

Then next week.

Then someday.

The Burned-Out Brenda Trap

If you’re anything like me, you’ve gotten really good at functioning while exhausted.

You know how to power through.

Push through.

Smile through.

You can survive on determination, salted caramel cold brew, and pure stubbornness for an impressive amount of time.

But eventually the bill comes due.

You start feeling disconnected from yourself.

Everything feels heavier.

Small things feel overwhelming.

Things you used to enjoy start feeling like work.

And instead of asking:

“What do I need?”

You start asking:

“What’s the bare minimum I can do to keep this train moving?”

A Radical Thought

What if the goal wasn’t to squeeze more productivity out of yourself?

What if the goal was to actually recover?

Not earn recovery.

Not justify recovery.

Not optimize recovery.

Just recover.

Because sometimes the bare minimum is enough.

Not every dish needs to be washed before bed.

Not every text needs an immediate response.

Not every workout needs to leave you wrecked.

Not every second of your day needs to be accounted for.

Sometimes good enough is actually good enough.

Why Slowing Down Feels So Hard

The tricky part is that slowing down can feel wildly uncomfortable.

Especially if you’ve spent years measuring your worth by how much you accomplish.

Because that little voice still shows up.

“You should be doing something.”

“Don’t waste the day.”

“You haven’t earned downtime yet.”

And if you’re a Burned-Out Brenda, that voice probably sounds pretty familiar.

But what if rest wasn’t a reward?

What if it was a requirement?

What if taking care of yourself wasn’t the thing you squeezed in after everything else?

What if it belonged on the list too?

Maybe You Need Rest More Than Another Routine

If you’ve been feeling tired lately, maybe the answer isn’t another productivity hack.

Or another planner.

Or another morning routine.

Maybe you don’t need to do more.

Maybe you need to carry less.

Maybe you need permission to stop proving that you’re worthy of rest.

Because you are.

Right now.

Not when the list is finished.

Not when everyone else is happy.

Not when you’ve earned it.

Right now.

Could You Be a Burned-Out Brenda?

If you’re constantly exhausted, running on fumes, and feeling like you have to earn your rest, you might have a little Burned-Out Brenda energy.

Take the free quiz and discover what’s really draining you and what part of your life might be asking for a little more attention.

Because sleep is important.

But real rest?

That’s a whole different thing.

👉 Take the quiz.

The post Why Am I Tired Even When I Get Enough Sleep? appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

I lived in a prison cell for a long time. Let’s be clear it was a prison of my own doing. I made SO many rules about my food and my workouts. I can’t imagine I was much fun! For my friends who stuck by during this process thank you very much!!!

I get it there’s a profound freedom that comes from living by a set of rules that you’ve chosen for yourself.. You simply follow your own rules and no one gains an ounce right, but are you really living are being “that girl” that no one wants to be around.

Now the rules I set for my life are around freeing up my time so that I don’t feel so stress and have “have tos” in my life and more “get tos”

1.  Most of you know I’m a huge believer of bed times! My goal most night is to get a minimum of 8 hours of sleep.
2. To keep my sanity I refrain from checking work related email before 10 AM or after 4 PM.
3. I accept full personal responsibility for all outcomes in my life, both good and bad.
4. To keep up with all the health and fitness stuff that comes out I make sure I’m reading a minimum of 30 minutes per day.
5. Move at least 30 minutes every day. Not some crazy sweaty “beast mode” workout it can be something as simple as a walk.
6. I meditate every night for 10 minutes before I go to sleep.
7. Every night before I go to bed I write the three most important things I must do before I go to bed. This way I do get overwhelmed by having a to do list bigger than my arm.

And so on.

Follow these tips to develop your own guidelines:

1. Make a list of your most important goals.
2. What will make you happier and more successful.
How do you waste time’ What are your weaknesses’
3. What example do you want to set for your children’ If you have children, what do you want them to see when they watch you’ They’re always watching, even if you think they aren’t.

As I mentioned, my goal is to have as much freedom, and sure it seems like guidelines may hamper freedom. However, you free up a lot of mental resources when you make important decisions beforehand. Take the time to make your own set of guideline. The number doesn’t matter. Start with a couple and add more as you see fit. Make some guidelines or yourself in order to set yourself free.

I’d love to hear your feedback!! Leave me a comment below.

The post The Worst Advice We’ve Ever Heard About Rules appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.