You want to lose weight so you dump carbs, fats, and sugar-rich foods. So, when trying to lose weight you stop eating these foods and focus on other options such as proteins, whole foods, smoothies, green juices, etc. What happens next is total failure and disappointment, as anyone who has ever deprived themselves of certain high calorie foods to lose weight will tell you. So, why does this happen’ Despite efforts to cut back, you are not losing as fast as you want or it’s just stalled. Here are 3 reasons why depriving yourself will not lead to weight loss.

#1: A Self-Deprived Diet Is Guaranteed to Backfire

Whether you have decided to eliminate whole food groups or avoid high-calorie favorites (burgers, chocolate, fries, etc), any diet that consists of depriving yourself is guaranteed to backfire. For starters, such a diet is hard to stick to. You will always want to cheat on it. Chances are super high that you will go back to your old eating habits that caused you to pack on excess fat in the first place. Moreover, the body just is not designed to work beyond its limits. If you have too little food your body will start to store it, thinking that you are starving. Your metabolism will slow down, fat burning will shut down, and the body will begin to hold onto its fat stores in preparation for starvation. So what you thought would help cut fat fast, is not even an effective weight loss method.

I work with my clients to develop healthy eating habits that can be integrated into your lifestyle. It’s all about moderation that has a place for healthy foods and your favorite pizza, wine and cupcakes.

#2: Deprivation Turns You into a Ticking Time Bomb

The first thing most people do is write a list of all the foods that they are no longer eating. When you do this you will only want them MORE! You will find yourself constantly thinking of these foods and craving to indulge in that savory piece of pizza that you have not had in a long time or that creamy ice cream, which always gives you so much comfort. While your “willpower” will let you hold out at first, but the longer you deny yourself, the greater your cravings will grow. Then that willpower battery will snap!!! You will give in to your cravings for some it may not be pretty!!! The worst part is that the period of overeating can last for as long as weeks, months, or even years in some cases.

Deprivation sucks!! I work with my clients to develop healthy eating habits that can be integrated into your lifestyle. It’s all about moderation that has a place for healthy foods and your favorite pizza, wine and cupcakes.

#3: Cutting out Whole Food Groups Is Not Healthy 

It makes me nuts when I hear people talking about I going to lose with so I’m going to cut sugar, carbs, go keto, go vegan, you name it. Sure you may lose weight initially. You will also miss out on other crucial nutrients. Carbs have health boosting benefits for the heart, promote a healthy digestive system, boost energy, and fill the stomach faster. So, cutting out carbs means you will be depriving yourself of essential dietary needs. The same goes for other foods as each food group has its own set of nutrients and benefits. You may also have hunger pangs or headaches.

Seriously, there is no point in depriving yourself to lose weight because such a diet does not even work in the long haul. You’ll end up more frustrated because the weight will come back and bring friends.

Instead, you should work at forming healthy eating habits that can be integrated into your lifestyle. You like your wine”’ Me too, instead of having a glass or 2 every night how about you have a glass every other. A dessert person” If you are in the habit of eating half a gallon of ice cream in one go, reduce that portion to about half a cup and the cut down on the frequency in which you enjoy this creamy delight. By simply applying moderation and watching portion sizes, you can continue enjoying favorites such as pizza and chocolate and still lose weight.

I’d love to hear some of your favorite tips.

When you are trying to lose weight, you’ll want to look at the scale every damn day to prove that you are getting the results. It’s only natural to want some form of reassurance that you are on the right path, something to show for all the sacrifices you are making are worth it. Seriously nothing beats looking down at the scale and realizing that you have lost a pound or two.

Let me break it down like this our bodies change throughout the week. It’s not uncommon for weight to fluctuate a bit from one day to the next. You hop on, on a Monday and you are down three pounds, but then a few days to find that you are two pounds heavier. Your motivation goes out the window.

This is totally natural, yet your motivation goes into the toilet. Then you start playing games to make sure that every time you step on the scale the number is lower and lower.

Sound familiar are you in this viscous cycle’

Repeat after me the scale measures my relationship to gravity. That’s it!!!!

Ready to break free and ditch the scale’ Focus on non scale victories.

How many inches have you lost’
How is your energy’
How is your sleep’
Are you starting to love with you see in the mirror’

Losing weight is not always easy, sometimes it can even feel impossible. When you learn how to focus on the way that you feel, instead of the numbers on the scale, you will take the frustration out of your weight loss journey, and doing that will allow weight loss to happen quickly and naturally.

On this episode by Kim Barnes Jefferson, she has also invited a guest to talk about mom body. The guest is her friend, Keri Mantie who has
been a fitness expert since 1997 and a mother to three boys. She coaches women on fitness and health goals.

The society expects every woman to have a certain body shape after giving birth but that is not the case. Many women are obsessed when it comes to fitness; they are either wondering what they are eating and what fitness activity they are doing.

Your job as a mom is to ensure that you keep your baby alive. You need to do this without worrying how your fitness schedule fits in. Your mindset starts to shift during pregnancy from how you look to what the pregnancy is doing. You are carrying a human being, you have too much on your plate and fitness is not one of them. It is not about the number on the scale.

Do not be hard on yourself. It is not about what you “should do”, it’s about doing your best. If you have done your best, you have done it all. You need to start embracing the
I don’t care attitude. It’s taken me years of telling myself not perfect to come to this mindset. The body will always change on it’s on timeline and you need to accept that. Some days you have to let yourself off the hook. You will still end up showing up.

Many mothers complain of how overwhelming their kids can get but you need to create some time or getting in not going to get done. Even if it’s 15 minutes in your bathrobe or a quick walk around the block with your baby. You need to leave crazy town. Change is going to come and it is okay to adjust your expectations.

Find out your non negotiables. These are things you will do no matter what, for instance a fully nutritious breakfast to get you set for the day. Decide what’ going to work for you. Be careful with social media. It can be a bit overwhelming. There are things that will work for another person but not for you. It can make you feel like you should doing more or you’re lagging behind but you need to shut it all down and stop feeling bad about yourself. You may think you can’t have wine, but I say go ahead and have a glass of wine and take your time.

There are those who can maintain the hardcore routine but for others, it is still not yet time and they cannot make the kind of sacrifices required. There is nothing wrong with that. Simply be where you are. You don’t have to give up what you love, simply ask yourself what do you love most, weigh your options and see what needs moderation and what is a no go zone.

What Do You Learn From This Episode

1. Better ways to reach fitness , fat loss goals without too much restriction
2. Appreciating what your body is doing
3. A different approach focusing on how you feel/ mood during exercise
4. Focusing on doing your best not what you should have done
5. How to get yourself off the hook
6. How to be okay with everything
7. Patience and strength to function
8. Changing your priorities
9. How to manage “ crazy town”
10. Identifying your non negotiable
11. Finding out what works for you and working with it
12. Know where to focus your energy
13. How to be good with choices
14. How to keep the mental noise to the minimal

Links mentioned in this episode

Keri Mantie — http://kerimantie.com
social media — facebook https://www.facebook.com/kerimantiefitnessandnutritioncoach
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/kerimantie/

Fab Fit Squad — http://kimbarnesjefferson.com
social media — Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/groups/fabfitlife/
Instagram –https://www.instagram.com/fabfitsquad/

My name is Kim Barnes Jefferson; I have a deep passion for guiding others towards fulfillment and success with an emphasis in fitness. I teach busy professional women to stop the extreme dieting/training merry-go-round and start giving themselves permission to live a healthy live without deprivation and guilt.

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.”- Benjamin Franklin

Whatever you want in life you need to set clear goals. It’s great to have ideas and vision, but you need to know how you will take action to make them a reality.

My 5 tips:

→Be precise. Identify what your “end-goal” is and make sure that you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve.

→Be ready. Plan every step that will lead to your goal and decide what’s your first step.

→Be realistic. Reaching a goal requires work and twice that amount of patience to get you there. Break your goals down into 30, 60 and 90 days so that you start to see momentum.

→Be passionate. If you really love what you are doing, it doesn’t matter what situation you are in as long as you are working to achieving your goal. If there is passion within you, the journey you take will surely be meaningful and fulfilling in its own way.

→Be faithful. Avoid the goal cha cha — jumping from one goal to another. When times get tough or it’s going slower than you thought, you will be tempted to give it up, find a new objective, or go in circles, but stick to your plan and understand that failure is a part of the process. If you feel like giving up, go back to number 1, and remind yourself of the reason why you’ve come a long way now.

There can be more things to remember in setting your goal, however, the success of your accomplishing it is entirely in the palm of your hands. Care to begin now’

One of my favorite quotes is Comparison is the thief of joy. Theodore Roosevelt

We are all guilty of it and it’s get even harder in this social media world. We see the world’s highlights. The vacations they are going on, he clients they have just got, the dream wedding, the kids who help with the chores around the house or the loving partner that they have found. If you find yourself gauging your life with that of others, you are not alone.

Sure making comparisons of your looks, possessions or lifestyle to that of others can be a source or motivation, it has its downsides as well. It becomes a problem when you start to gauge your own self-worth based on the accomplishments, qualities or possessions of others. I will share with you  5 reasons why you shouldn’t compare yourself to help you not fall pray the comparison trap.

#1: It Will Straight Up Steal Your Joy

It is natural to want what other people have. When you see this and it makes your cray cray, then it’s time to check yourself.  You maybe sabotaging your own happiness because you will feel mediocre compared to others.

If find your self constantly comparing yourself with others to determine your worth. You will always feel triggered, pissed off and never good enough.

#2: Sets You Up for Failure

You will always feel like you are lacking in something. Every time you look or scroll around, there will always be someone who is more successful, more talented, better looking or generally doing better than you in life. Constantly judging yourself based on what you don’t have, will cause your self-esteem to plummet. It could lead to feelings of never measuring up potentially a viscous cycle into giving up on your goals.

#3: Comparisons Disregard Differences in Personal Circumstances

Most people don’t take into account personal differences between themselves and celebrities or peers they compare themselves to. As a result, successful people come off as overnight sensations while in fact that is never the case. There are no overnight sensations, just so you know!! The truth is we all have struggles and setbacks on the path to success. That is life. You can’t truly judge your own worth by comparing yourself to someone leading a completely different life and in totally different circumstance than yours. I see it all the time, women will look in the magazines and say I wish I had so and so’s abs, or such such’s butt.

Two things I want you to consider.

1. When you make that comparison to the model in the magazine are you willing to do what it takes to do that’
2. The body that you are looking at sometimes is photoshopped.

Instead what if you focused on being the best possible person that you could be.

#4: You Feel Superior’

Do you feel better get a boost in your self-esteem when you feel that some people are “beneath” you’ Sure it feels good, but do you ever grow and get to where you want to be” Instead of trying to pass yourself off as better than everyone else, make comparisons with people who are better than you in one respect or another and use their success as an example you can try to copy.

#5: You Don’t Know The Back Story

Remember you are looking at most people’s highlight reel. There is no such thing as a perfect life. Everyone experiences challenges in their life. Not everyone is perfect nor are their lives. They aren’t always as blissful, happy and perky as everyone thinks.

Stop making yourself crazy by trying to compare yourself with a celebrity or peer you perceive to have a perfect life is setting standards that those people perhaps don’t even match up to. So, the next time you find yourself comparing your life to that of a neighbor, friend or superstar, remember that you don’t necessarily know every detail about their life. One of best things I’ve ever heard is you never know what happens behind closed doors.

Would you like to dive deeper into breaking this habit’‘  In just 21 days, you’ll:

>>>>The ability to create a mindset to bust through the plateaus that have kept you stuck

>>>>The power to stop giving a shit about other people and zero in on what matters to you so that you learn how to create a plan that is unique to you

>>>>A way to set flexible boundaries that don’t leave you feeling trapped and obsessing over what you can and can’t have

Isn’t it time you took the pressure off yourself and gave yourself permission to get a handle on your schedule”

One of of the biggest reasons why people say they can’t work out is because of they are too busy.

If you increased your productivity do you think you could find 30 minutes to make it to the gym, go for a walk, do a little yoga, meditate, take a bath or just sit on your bum.

Wouldn’t you agree that above all else…above wealth, having a hot body, a loving passionate relationship, a thriving business/career and basically whatever your heart desires above all else …what you and I are looking for is happiness’ What’s money, wealth, health, or material possessions if you are NOT happy’ They are as nothing. Can you learn to be happy’

Love Yourself First

 If you want to be happy, learn to love yourself first. So what does loving yourself mean’ If you are a parent, you know that special love you feel for your child’ That’s the love you should give to yourself as well.

We are so incredibly hard on ourselves. It’s become a habit to bash the shit out of ourselves about all of our failing or shortcomings. Our internal critic is one bossy mean bitch. You can pull out of that spiral write down everything thing you say that you aren’t and turn it around. So when you say that will never lose those last 10 pounds it’s the way it is.

You would say I am easily losing these last 10 pounds with grace and ease. I know this seems hairy fairy, but you have nothing to lose right now you are beating the crap out of yourself and what” Nothing, if you showed a little love and support what could happen.

When your children try something new do you shame them into thinking that it’s not for them or do you encourage them to keep going even if they don’t get it on the first try’ Exactly!!

Love Yourself with Childlike Wonder

Do you remember the childlike abandon in play’ You saw others having fun and succeeding and you wanted to try. You never wondered if you would look bad or fail, you just hopped in and hoped for the best. When was the last time you felt like that’

The inner child has been wounded by our bad life experiences, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not and by what life has delivered to your doorstep. But if you’re willing you can get back in touch with that inner child and free it, you can begin living a life of pure and utter joy.

Last week I was meeting with one of my business partners and we were making goals for the next 90 days. I turned to her three year old twins and asked them what their goals were. Mara said she wanted to play outside in the sunshine and Gina said she wanted to blow as many bubbles as possible.

There was no hesitation in how will this work or I failed in the past so I might as well not try. It was all about going for it!!

Honor Yourself

Learn to honor yourself – this is important if you want to be happy. Accept your feelings and don’t repress them. This doesn’t mean you always spout your feelings to the world. But between you and you, accept how you feel, sit with your feelings, breathe through them, feel them. When you suppress your emotions, you stop the healing. Many times we just need to get them out so that we can acknowledge and then start to the do the work to move past them. Most of the time if you just let the bad feelings be and accept that bad things do happen in life and don’t try to find blame or a reason, you’ll find that you’ll be better able to honor the process and where you are in it.

Once you identify your feelings and begin loving yourself, a freedom starts to grow in you that’s unlike anything you’ve experienced.

Now Share That Love with Others

Loving yourself opens your eyes to what’s possible for you. Sharing your journey with others brightens both yours lives. Who doesn’t like to feel included’ Another way you can learn how to be happy for others without feeling jealous or vindictive.

If you find yourself “hurt” or “triggered” by what someone has said to you, try asking yourself why. When you delve down into the feelings, you’ll understand that you’ve been hurt or triggered because of something you believe about yourself, not necessarily what the person outside of you is saying.

When it comes right down to it, the world could use more people who’ve learned to embrace their inner child, turned off the voice of that inner critic, and loved themselves into happiness.

This is all about creating habits. To make this a habit focus on the enjoyment of making positive changes in your life, create social accountability by telling your friends that you acted on the good habit, and rewarding yourself.

Believe it or not, but not everyone springs out of bed in the morning easily and in a good mood. Not even me. Some days I do want to roll over and just hang in bed. You have two type of people those who can bounce out of bed everyday damn day eagerly anticipating the day and will talk your ear off if there’s anyone to listen. Then you have those who groggily stagger out of bed reluctantly and no coffee no talkie.

Let’s be honest which one are you” I have to say I’m the first, but that wasn’t always the case, I was so not a morning person and coffee was my life line!!!

When I first started working out I wasn’t getting in all my workouts because I was working out in the evening. I was missing my workouts because I was working later than I expected. I was getting frustrated because it was out of my control.  He told me that if I started working out in the morning I took back my control and I would actually get my workouts done. I felt awesome because before I headed to work I had done something for me. Working out in the AM was a game changer for me. I started working out in the AM 15 years ago and I have not gone back to evening workouts.

So which of these describes you’ Do you fall somewhere in between’ Which would you rather be’ There are countless studies about the early bird gets the worm. A 2008 Harvard study discovered that early risers are more proactive. Early risers are more likely to exercise. Don’t get me wrong some late risers get just as much work done; it just takes them longer to get to it.

If you’re not happy with your morning habits and want to change, it can be done but it has to be a concerted effort on your part. Raise your hand if you embrace change. Not many people jump at the chance to make a change. You’ve been this way for years and it works for you. On the other hand, who wants to be an old grouch in the morning making you and everyone around you miserable’

You can become an early happy riser, make it a habit and yes, you will embrace.

What is your current waking mood” Is it working for you” Do you want to make a change’

Are you willing to try something different’ How comfortable are you with knowing that the first thing you try may not the that transforms you into a new you.

Preparation and planning is key. I’m huge with rituals. When you look forward to something you are more likely to do. One of the biggest reasons why folks don’t get up early is they say they don’t get enough sleep. Let’s be honest most of us are staying up late curing cancer or coming up with a strategy to bring peace in the middle east.

I encourage my clients create a bed time ritual. Just like you did as a kid or you currently do for your kids. You set a bed time and maybe you read for a few minutes, meditate, take a bath or talk to your partner anything that slows down your brain and tells it, its time for bed.

Pretty much any habit we want to change or start can be turned into a ritual. Wanna change your food” Decide what will be your new ritual will you stay away from heavy fatty foods and sugars before bedtime’ Try a healthy dinner a few nights and make a note as to how you feel the next morning. Is it working’ If not, don’t give up. Pay attention to what may need to be tweaked and keep tweaking till you are at a place that you love.

Wanna make exercise a habit’. If you’ve followed me for anytime, you’ll know I’m a huge believer in sleep!! The better shape your body is in the better it will sleep and the better you’ll feel each morning. Working out in the morning is more beneficial then before bedtime. For some, nighttime exercise can get the blood flowing too much for you to fall right to sleep.

Anticipate the morning routine. Don’t give yourself something boring to look forward to.
Make time for at least some morning exercise even if it’s just stretching. Perhaps, sitting outside journaling or meditating. Count your blessings and plan your day. New morning habits are not accomplished in a day. Be patient and willing to experiment. Give yourself the time and the space to make the changes.

I think summer is one of the best times to change up your habits. The days are longer it’s warmer outside and maybe it’s just me you just feel like you have a bit more of a pep in your step. When the sun up earlier working out in the morning doesn’t seem so hard. You can also take vacation and a time to try on some new habits without the pressure of work. I know you are thinking I want to enjoy my vacation and not worry about what I’m eating.

I’m here to tell you it’s possible to enjoy your summer and still maintain or start healthy living. — Grab your Shame Free Summer Action guide here.

Gabriel Garcia Marengo

My biggest secret to beating stress is learning who to say NO!!!

Saying no is a very powerful tool to help manage the amount of stress that you experience in everyday life. I remember hearing Lisa Nichols say that No is a complete sentence and that has become my motto.

‘No’, by its very definition is a word that ‘ends, closes off, or discontinues a line of thought or conversation’.

It’s Really Simple
Saying more often keeps you from getting overwhelmed. Have you ever been overwhelmed by saying yes, to something in your gut you really wanted to say no to. Then you get all stressed out because you are subjected to their goals, deadlines and expectations,

If you listened to your gut and said ‘No’ in exactly the same situation, then you take yourself out of stressful situation. Don’t allow your own freedom to be taken by other people’s goals, objectives, and tasks. All of this is the result of just saying ‘No’.

It’s Harder For Some Than Others
Yes, saying ‘No’ comes easy to some people and you may not be that person who can say no. You may be the girl who gets a knot in their stomach and then the inner guilt spiral starts. You start beating yourself up for being selfish and then against your gut you inevitably say ‘Yes’ and end up either being overwhelmed, manipulated or acting against your intuition.

In either case, it’s important to know when to say ‘No’ and it’s just as important to have the ability to say ‘No’ when you want to.

In order to effectively say ‘No’ to potentially stress-inducing situations we have to have clear boundaries.

No, No, No, A Thousand Times No
If you have a solid grasp of your boundaries then you are able to say ‘Yes’ up to a point, and when you reach that point you are then able to say ‘No’ to making sure you’re not overwhelmed.

To do this you must tap into yourself to recognize the exact moment when things become too much. It is at this moment when you need to say ‘No’.

‘No’ is what will stop you from going any further and keeps your stress in check. If you have paid attention to your body, you will know exactly when this moment arises.

You’ll begin to notice a change in your inner mindset. When you’ve reached your boundary levels you’ll feel tension, anxiety, frustration, irritability and possibly just pissed off.

As they say this is a clue, that you have allowed yourself to be pushed too far and you should have said ‘No’.

No, Just Do It!
When you have recognized your limitations through careful observation of your inner and outer stress levels, all you have to do is develop the ability to be honest with yourself and with the people around you.

Take the pressure off yourself and be honest when you’ve hit your maximum capacity.

I hear you, sounds simple in an article but seriously, how does this work in the real life!!

You develop your own ‘No, Thank You’ Mantra.

Use it whenever someone approaches you and tries to persuade you to do something you don’t want to do or that you just don’t have the ability to do because you’re already maxed out.

Remember No is a complete sentence. I’m sure there are things that you have on your plate right now that you know you should have said no to, but if you are feeling pissed off or stressed out it’s time to re-evaluate.

One of the hardest times we have when it comes to saying no is around food. We all have those people who are food pushers, who always want to make sure you are eating enough. They want to have you “eat” with them to take the guilt off of them. In this Shame Free Summer Action guide, I teach you have to break free and thrive.