Same, friend. I’ve been there—crying on the StairMaster, convinced the answer was more discipline, more hustle, more “perfect.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t discipline at all. It was desperation dressed in Lululemon.

The Moment Everything Cracked

Let me take you back. I was two weeks out from a fitness competition. It was also my birthday. My husband, being the sweetheart he is, found a restaurant that could serve me white fish and asparagus so I wouldn’t “blow my prep.”
Sounds supportive, right? Except I cried through that workout. Because in that moment, I realized my healthy lifestyle was actually stealing my life.

So I quit the show. We went out for a real birthday dinner—with cake.
I’d love to say that was my big breakthrough, but honestly? It was just the first crack in the foundation.

Discipline vs. Desperation

Here’s what I know now:
You think you’re being disciplined, but really? You’re just desperate. You’re chasing a rulebook that was never written for YOUR life.

For me, the gym was an escape from a job I hated, a way to control something in a life that felt out of control. But control has a cost—and mine was joy.

The Hawaiian Wake-Up Call

Fast forward a few years. I’m in Hawaii celebrating a big birthday, and I see this local woman at the beach. No guilt. No worry. Just soaking up sunshine like it’s her job. Meanwhile, I’d spent months dieting for this trip… and still felt like I didn’t “hit my goal.”

I thought, “Why can’t I just enjoy this?”
That’s when it hit me: healthy had become a performance. I wasn’t living, I was earning my worth with workouts and food rules.

The Flip Flop Life Was Born

That’s when I wrote a manifesto. Yep, a whole manifesto that I hid for SIX years because it scared me. It said things like:
✅ I’m done micromanaging every bite, step, and calorie.
✅ I’m done believing health has to be hard.
✅ I want a life where health feels effortless—like flip-flops instead of stilettos on a hill.

And now, I’m ready to share it with you.

What If Healthy Could Be Easy?

Imagine:
✔ Waking up Monday without promising, “This week I’ll be perfect.”
✔ Ordering fries because you want them—not because you calculated how many burpees they cost.
✔ Enjoying life without tracking every bite.

That’s The Flip Flop Life™. No rules. No guilt. No grind to earn your worth.

Ready to Rewrite the Rulebook?

You don’t need another diet. You don’t need to grind harder.
You need permission to do it differently.
And here it is.

Links

Flip Flop Life Manifesto https://www.fitgirlmagic.com/fflwaitlistfall2025

Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic

Free Resources: https://www.fitgirlmagic.com/freeresources_podcast Website:  http://www.kimbarnesjefferson.com 

The post Is Your Healthy Lifestyle Actually Stealing Your Life? |318 appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

You know the drill. You’re feeling pretty good about your morning walk and hitting your protein goal. Then you open social media and BAM — someone’s posting six-pack selfies while literally eating a donut.

Cue the spiral of doom.

The Sneaky Truth About Comparison

Here’s what’s really happening: You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel.

That gorgeous fitness influencer? She’s not posting about the bloated days, the hormone struggles, or the fact that she took 47 photos to get that one “effortless” shot.

Meanwhile, you’re over here judging your entire journey based on one moment of someone else’s carefully curated life.

Or that friend who’s been the same size since high school and thinks perimenopause is a type of pasta sauce. WTF! 

Why Your Brain Loves This Torture

Your brain thinks it’s being helpful by comparing. It’s like, “Hey, look what’s possible!” But here’s the plot twist: If comparison keeps you stuck instead of motivated, it’s actually sabotaging your progress.

Because when you’re busy feeling bad about what you’re not doing, you stop celebrating what you ARE doing. And those small wins? They’re literally the foundation of lasting change.

Social Media vs. Reality Check

Let’s get real about what you’re actually seeing online:

• Perfect lighting and angles (because nobody posts their double-chin selfies)
• Specific moments in time (not the full story)
• Different bodies, genetics, and life circumstances
• Often, people who are paid to look a certain way

Meanwhile, you’re living real life — with kids, jobs, stress, hormones, and a million other things that don’t fit in a neat Instagram square.

The Simple Mindset Switch That Changes Everything

Next time you catch yourself in comparison quicksand, try this: Write down 3 things you’re doing better today than yesterday.

Maybe you:

• Added protein to your meals 
• Took a 10 minute walk
• Drank an extra glass of water
• Got 7 hours of sleep instead of 5

Tiny? Yes. Insignificant? Absolutely not. These small wins stack up faster than you think.

Your Journey Doesn’t Need an Audience

Here’s something nobody talks about: You don’t need to document every workout or meal to make progress. You don’t need before-and-after photos or transformation posts.

You just need to show up for yourself, consistently, in ways that actually work for your life.

Some days that looks like a 45-minute workout. Other days it’s choosing to walk instead of stress eating. Both count. Both matter.

Stop Running Someone Else’s Race

The woman posting the six-pack selfie? She’s running her race. You? You’re running yours. Different tracks, different finish lines, different victories along the way.

Your only job is to be better than you were yesterday. Not better than her, not better than some impossible standard — just better than yesterday’s version of you.

Ready to stop the comparison spiral and start owning your progress?

👉 Day 3 of my 5-Day Belly Fat Reset podcast is your mindset reset. We’re talking about how to celebrate your wins, ignore the noise, and actually enjoy the journey instead of constantly judging it.

 You deserve to feel proud of how far you’ve come, not stuck on how far you think you have to go.

P.S. — The best transformation photos are the ones only you can see: how you feel in your body, your energy levels, your confidence. Those don’t need a filter.

The post The Comparison Trap That’s Keeping You Stuck appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

Let’s be honest: Most women over 40 have been living in diet jail for decades.

You’re either “on” the plan, or you’re deep in a bag of chips wondering what went wrong. You’re counting carbs, avoiding sugar, slashing calories, and somehow still not seeing results. Sound familiar?

In this post, I’m breaking down why fat loss isn’t meant to be a lifestyle—it’s a phase. And if you’ve been dieting since the days of thigh masters and low-fat yogurt, it’s time to shake things up.

Step 1: Know the Difference—Weight Loss vs. Body Composition

Let’s start here: Do you actually need to lose weight… or are you chasing better body composition?

For most women I work with, it’s not about the scale—it’s about how they feel in their jeans. It’s about belly bloat, hormonal fluff, or not recognizing their body anymore. The number might not change, but your shape will.

Body composition = more muscle, less fluff. And yes, that can happen without the scale budging.

Step 2: Fat Loss is a SEASON, Not a Forever Plan

Your body isn’t designed to be in fat loss mode 365 days a year. That’s a one-way ticket to burnout, broken metabolism, and cravings that hit harder than a 90s boy band comeback.

👉 Enter the 12–16 week fat loss phase.

This is your focused window to tweak your food, tighten up your habits, and gently guide your body to let go of fat. After that? You must reverse out of it. Think of it like cleaning up after the party—if you skip that part, you’ll pay for it later.

Step 3: Stop Slashing Calories. Start Tweaking Strategically.

I see you, eyeballing almond butter with your heart instead of using the tablespoon and wondering why nothing’s changing. I get it, I mean come on it’s almond butter!

Real fat loss doesn’t require starvation. It requires strategy. That means taking stock of where you’re at and trimming back gently—think measuring the oil you cook with or swapping almond milk for water in your shake. Small, unsexy shifts add up.

When you go too hard, too fast, your body panics. Hunger goes up, energy crashes, and your metabolism waves the white flag.

Step 4: Track the RIGHT Wins (Spoiler: It’s Not Just the Scale)

Here’s where most women trip up: they treat the scale like it’s gospel. But progress can show up in better sleep, more stable moods, improved cravings, looser jeans, and photos where you think, “Damn, I look GOOD.”

Zoom out. Celebrate the non-scale wins. They’re often the ones that stick.

Step 5: Know When to Pivot—Maintenance and Reverse Matter

If you’ve been dieting forever, your metabolism is probably waving a red flag. That’s why maintenance and reverse dieting are non-negotiable.

Maintenance = staying within 3–5 lbs of your current weight and living your damn life.
Reverse = slowly adding calories back in without regaining fat, so your metabolism recovers and starts working for you again.

This is where your hormones can finally exhale. And so can you.

The Bottom Line

Fat loss can be part of your strategy—but it shouldn’t be your entire life.
The scale doesn’t define your worth. Your metabolism isn’t broken—it’s just tired AF from years of diet chaos.
And there’s a smarter, more sustainable way forward.

Want to know which phase your metabolism is in right now?
Take this quickt metabolism quiz to find out. 

Psst…. You don’t need another diet. You need a plan that works with your body, not against it.

Because fat loss isn’t forever… but food freedom can be.

Links

Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic

Free Resources: https://www.fitgirlmagic.com/freeresources_podcast

Website:  http://www.kimbarnesjefferson.com 

Is Your Metabolism Tired AF? — Free Quiz

Guilt Free Alcohol Guide

The post Fat Loss Should Be a Phase, Not a Lifestyle appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

I’m not reading it cover to cover. Not stressing about “staying on track.”

Each morning, I grab my book…
I take a breath…
And I ask myself: What do I need to hear today?

Then I open the book to whatever page pops up. No rules, no agenda—just trusting the process.

Today’s message?

“Each choice I’ve made in the past is exactly the way it should be.“

Whew. That hit.

From there, I grabbed my journal and started writing. Pages poured out about how my “mistakes” weren’t failures… they were signs. Little indicators telling me when I was headed in the wrong direction. And now? I’m choosing to see them as course-correctors. Don’t get me wrong at the time I did beat myself up, but as they say hindsight is 20/20.

Here’s the cool part: I’m working on something new right now—something I’m so freaking excited about. Honestly, more fired up than I’ve been in a long time.

This summer, I’m giving myself space to map it out, bring it to life, and do it in a way that feels fun and aligned (aka no more forcing, no more hustle-for-hustle’s sake).

If you’ve been needing a reset or craving a little clarity—maybe this is your permission slip:
👉 You don’t have to start perfectly.
👉 You don’t have to follow a set plan.
👉 You can trust what you need to hear, today.

P.S. Want to follow along? I’m sharing the journey here + on IG @kimjeffersoncoach or come hang out in my Facebook group! And if you’re diving back into your own mindset work, DM me… I’d love to cheer you on!

The post How I’m Using May Cause Miracles for Daily Journaling Without the Pressure appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

That was the year I first stumbled across this powerhouse named Gabby Bernstein. (You may have heard of her—tiny bit of an icon in the woo-woo world.)

At the time, I was dipping my toes into the whole mindset and manifestation space. And journaling? Yeah, not really my thing… until Gabby’s book May Cause Miracles landed in my lap.

It was a 40-day journaling challenge. Forty days of getting my thoughts on paper. And guess what? I was hooked.

Then she started talking about “the Universe,” and I was like, “Okayyyy, what’s this about?” So naturally, I devoured her next book—The Universe Has Your Back. Spoiler alert: life-changing.

Next thing you know, I’m traveling to NYC to attend her live event—Spirit Junkie Masterclass. (bummer she no longer runs this event). That weekend blew my mind and basically turned me into a full-on believer in journaling and sprinkling a little woo into my life.

From that point forward, journaling became my thing. My daily ritual. My non-negotiable.

…until last year.

I got cute. Decided to “try something new.” Made it too complicated, too rigid. You know what happened? My streak broke. Just like that. I fell off the journaling wagon. ☹️

But here’s the thing: lately, I’ve been feeling the pull. You know that inner nudge that says: “It’s time to get back to what worked.”

So here we are. I’m dusting off May Cause Miracles and going back to basics.

For the next 40 days, I’m blogging my thoughts as I go—real, raw, and totally unfiltered. No complicated rules. No perfectionism. Just me, my journal, and a little woo.

If you’ve been thinking about getting back to your own practices—whether it’s journaling, meditating, or just sitting in stillness—maybe this is your sign.

I’m here for it. And I’m bringing you with me. 🚀

👉 Want to join me? Grab your journal, snag a copy May Cause Miracles if you don’t already have it, and let’s do this together.
Join me in my Facebook group and tell me if you’re in—I’d love to cheer you on!

The post I’m Bringing Back My Woo: How I’m Resetting My Mindset and Daily Journaling Practice appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

Challenges help us to build perspective. They teach you how to appreciate the gifts and blessings we are given! Because without the lows, how can we compare where we come from’ So, I want you to start thinking about how far you have come from who you used to be in the past. Those challenges help you to become stronger because you are going to confront a problem and solve it, and THEN BOUNCE BACK!

I challenge you to recognize that there are certain things that always seem to trip us up. What exactly are they’ When you are going for a goal what are the things that TRIP YOU UP” Let’s pre-think about options and work on If – then thinking.
—– If I am unable to work out on Monday, I will work out on Sunday. If I am unable to work out on Wednesday, then I will work out on Saturday.

Let’s take a look at mindset as well. A mindset shift has to happen. Look at the 4 pillars of weight loss. It is not just about counting calories and doing a workout It is also about your mindset. Every challenge that you face is an opportunity for you to learn.

Challenges can help us build up our emotional reserves so when you face obstacles, you can tap into this well of resources. When you hit obstacles, you know what you need to do to push yourself up the hill! You know what resources you can tap into to get yourself out of this place.

I want to take a minute in between talking about challenges to talk about rest. You could look at this as a challenge because of your negative self-talk by saying you are giving up just because you are resting and then you fall off the wagon. But RESTING doesn’t mean you are giving up. If you need to rest sometimes, that is ok!! Rona has taught me so well, that I don’t always have to be busy. And prior to Rona I was always busy, and everything scheduled. Then the world stopped, it caused me the ask myself why am I always running around’ It caused me to be more reflective, get into the quiet and helped me see things clearly!

Challenges help us to extend out our comfort zone! Challenges force you to do and try new things! Things that you don’t want to do, but know you need to move on or get to another point in life. This forces you to think in new ways you thought didn’t exist before! When you step out of your comfort zone it forces you to accept your problems and decide how you are going to face them and builds you a resilience tank!

Guys, I want you to overcome anything that comes your way. Enjoy that challenge and make it easier. DEAL WITH IT! The only way to deal with a challenge is to actually deal with it! The more we ignore it, it will then grow. So, deal with it while you can! What do you have to work with to deal with these challenges and work through them’ Whatever is in your reach, deal with it!

The biggest challenge I hear from people is that they feel like failures. They have tried all of these things and they say they don’t make it and don’t last on all these diets.
Okay, so what was that failure’ How do you take that failure and turn it into a lesson’
Work from the REPS formula. What is realistic’ Were you excited’ Can you make a plan for it in your life’ Was it sustainable’ If any of those 4 things weren’t in play, then of course you are going to fail They all have to be aligned.

We need to recognize that change is inevitable. You can’t escape it and you can’t always control it. You have to roll with the punches and be able to push away the fearful thoughts of when you can’t control it!

I want you to think about why you don’t have the motivation to take action. Why do you keep procrastinating on something, because when we analyze the source of the problem, then we can start to devise a plan to see how things get made’ Also, stop and see what success looks like for you. The more we can define success, the more we get excited about it and start to plan around that!!

What are the traits to help you out in this process of finding motivation and take action’

1. Clarity – Get clear on what it is you are trying to accomplish
2. Courage– I have to know that I can bounce back from my setbacks and obstacles. Think the resilience tank.
3. Creative – Live in the present moment and stop worrying about what happened 2 years, 2 months 2 hours ago. Because that helps reduce the stress so you can deal with the challenge right in front of you today.
4. Get Curious– Ask yourself so many questions. Seek information that will help overcome the obstacles
5. Calm The place it took me to get to this place. Take that breath, balance out my emotions, and try not to come from an emotional place with things.
6. Resilience – I believe that things are going to work out. I have what it takes to overcome that situation.

Sometimes I get stuck in these endless loops, as I know many of you do too. And when I do, I always come back to this poem. It’s called Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson. The first time I heard it, I knew that I had to hear it over and over again. Part of it goes on to say, I walked down the street, there’s a deep hole in the sidewalk, I fall in, I’m lost, I am hopeless, it isn’t my fault, it will take forever to find a way out. Then It goes on to talk about this hole and all the various things about this hole…
This is exactly what being stuck in a loop is like. We follow the same program over and over again and expect different things, but we fall into the same damn hole!

Have the courage to BREAK FREE and have stronger habits that will create better routines. Those routines will lead to that consistency and that consistency will lead to your results!!!

This is how we face our challenges. And we start to build that grit, that exemplifies a character so that you know that you can overcome any of life’s challenges!!!

LINKS
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FabFitSquad
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/
Website: https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

Stages of change: A poem

Are You Ready For A Mindset Overhaul’

What’s your fitness persona’ fitnhttps://content.leadquizzes.com/lp/TwzI1audgA

The post To Women Over 40 Who Want To Beat Life Challenges But Can’t Get Started appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

Guys, I was SO SO SO sick of being stuck and I was over myself and all the bullshit. My identity was solely focused on the way I looked. As a personal trainer. Because when you are at the gym and people see you, and the hire because they tell you they want your arms, shoulders or some other body part, you get sucked into the belief of needing to look a certain way in order to get clients. And you feel like it has absolutely nothing to do with the transformation you can bring a client.

How I LOOKED, MY WORKOUTS were my identity. And my thoughts in a given day were always, how far away was I from my next meal or when was I going to get next workout.

And I had low-grade anxiety over all of this.

Ladies, I am telling you this because I went on like this for a VERY LONG TIME and I do not want you to go through it as long as I did.

I WAS. BURNT. THE. FUCK. OUT!!!

When I was competing, I got soooo fixated on a show and needing a show date to buckle down and be hardcore at the gym, that I was constantly pushing myself and not allowing my body or mind to slow the hell down!

Now my coach could foresee that I was nearing burnout. She knew that I was headed down that path and I will never forget what she said to me My coach said, You can go hard, and you can go long. But you can’t go hard for long BOOM GUYSSS this is gold right here. If you don’t take anything away from what you read, take that away.

Continue to think about that quote. I didn’t want to believe it, but she knew it was inevitable. Now for me, as a coach that is frustrating because I see it in my clients, and I am wanting them to stop when I see this in them, but you honestly have to hit rock bottom on your own to realize this. They have to realize it for themselves and see it for themselves before they will believe that it CAN HAPPEN to them.

I want to tell you what my biggest challenge to overcome was because I know for damn sure that there is someone else out there struggling with this.And that was telling myself and allowing myself to believe that if I didn’t work out for a week that I wouldn’t lose all my gains! I wouldn’t shrink down to nothing because I didn’t hit the gym for a week. I didn’t believe in breaks and I believed that I would lose everything I have worked for by taking a 

THIS IS A MYTHHHH!! This will not happen. You will not lose it all my friends! This is what happens when you stop working out after WEEKKSS. Not hours or days. Initially, you will start to see your muscles shrink a little, from no water in the muscle. This is normal. But then you will experience 1 of 2 things.

1) If you do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING and enter sloth mode for weeks, then you are going to see that your muscles are shrinking in comparison to your fat cells. Or 2) If you are still moderately active and eating in a healthy manner, you won’t see this immediate decline.

You aren’t going to deflate like a freaking balloon losing air if you take a few weeks off. It just isn’t going to happen and you HAVE TO GET OUT OF THAT MINDSET of thinking that it is going to happen.

I was continuing to push the crap out of myself. And I was consistently gaining 10 pounds a year and when I hit 30 pounds, I told myself something has to give. What I was doing wasn’t giving me what I wanted. It was giving me more of what I didn’t want.

I couldn’t work out any harder.

I couldn’t diet any harder.

Yet I still kept putting on the weight.

Are you shaking your head yet” Am I speaking to you yet’

In order to get different, I had to do differently. I had to decide that I was going to MAKE A CHANGE. I had to tell myself that CHANGE is POSSIBLE, and I had to make it simple. I couldn’t do 2-hour workouts, I couldn’t be hungry all the time anymore. I had to ask myself better questions. But more importantly, I had to tell myself that what I was doing before wasn’t serving me. I was doing all of this stuff and it’s JUST NOT working.

I was sick of the workouts and what was huge for me was that the gym used to be my happy place and now it wasn’t anymore. It wasn’t doing it for me anymore.

So, the first thing was I started going to the gym less. Instead of 7 days a week I did the bare minimum of 3 days a week. I talked myself through it, just do 3 days and don’t feel like I have more in the tank so I can give more. And guess what’ I found I was sleeping better, I was less sore, and I wasn’t as fixated on the gym. I was forcing myself to sit my booty down, even though I didn’t want to. I NEEDED TO.
And this realization that I didn’t need all I thought I needed before was the driving force that brought me into my mission to help other women.

I need you to know that you can do this. I need you to know that you are capable of scaling back.

You need to unpack your fears. What was I so afraid of if I stopped working out 7 days a week’ What would happen if I stopped measuring every morsel of food I ate’ What would happen’ I had to ask myself what the worst thing would happen. And friends, it was UNCOMFORTABLE!!

Then, what is going to be your ideal outcome’ What is your main motivation for being fit and staying active but not being burnt out’ For me, it was so that I was able to move without assistance in my 80s! So, what is your motivation, and what will be your OBSTACLES on the way to where you wanted to be’ I was my own biggest obstacle and most likely you will be your greatest obstacle as well.

So, let’s figure out what is going to be your actual plan’ I want you to write things down. If it is not written down, it’s not a plan. So write down your workouts for the week and get them scheduled on days you will be doing them. And write down what your food will look like for the week. And if writing them down for the entire week is too much, just start doing it day by day. Sit down the night before and plan what you are going to do the next day.

Now, you are going to experiment with what is going to work for you. For me I had to do these to see what would work for me and experimenting with eating differently was a huge experiment for me. Experiment with what happens if you change your breakfast, what happens if we take 2 days off from the gym’ This is important to make sure that these changes and experiments do not make you feel anxious or stressed out and you have to feel ok with what you are doing.? And what is the plan if you feel anxious about missing 2 days in a row’ If you miss 2 days in a row, what is the reason’

Magic makers, YOU HAVE TO break free of that mindset that you are stuck in that place. You have to tell yourself that change IS POSSIBLE! Pay yourself compliments that you are able to live this healthy life!!! That what you are doing is a choice, YOUR CHOICE!!

FIND YOUR WHY!

Why am I driven’

Why am I doing this’

Mine was so that when I stand up in front of my classes, I look like I practice what I preach! I am not standing up there telling people to do this and I don’t do it.

Stop with your own personal judgment and live in with your now.

So this is what I had to do. And I am going to break it down into these 4 steps! So, If you like rules here you go!! ””

1. Resist my assumptions. I was assuming that people were judging me. Most people aren’t judging me, I was judging me. So, give yourself a dang break!!
2. Understand your true motivations. Why do you want this’ What are you trying to prove’ Is there anything to prove’
3. Listen to my body. https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/are-you-ready-to-break-up-with-overtraining In a past podcast, Are You Ready To Break Up With Overtraining’ my guest said she was overtraining so much and gave this golden nuggetif you can’t hear your body whisper how are you going to hear it scream’ How are you listening to your body’ There are plenty of things your body tells you when you are overtraining or when it is time to take a break.
4. For those perfectionists out there, it’s time for you to experience a B+. Many of us go for A++ but if you simply just went for the B+ it’s above average and below trying to kill yourself! Give yourself that permission to say, instead of being at the gym for 90 minutes, I can do an hour and see what I can get in!

Challenge yourself and ask yourself those hard questions. If you are feeling burnt out by your workouts and tired all the time and BLAH about the gym. Start to ask yourself those better questions.

Many of us need permission to get off the crazy train and if you need that permission, I have no problem helping you do that!! I am here to give you tips and tricks to slow down and still get the results you want from your workouts!!

I know I am not the only person that experienced this. I know I am not the first nor am I going to be the last. So, if you are reading this or you listened to the podcast and you are where I was or need help, reach out and let me know if this helps you. If it sounds like you reach out. Or if you want more episodes to dive deeper into this, let me know and we can make it happen!

LINKS

5 Days Effortless Weight loss Challenge starts March 8th! https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/5-days-effortless-weight-loss-march2021
What’s your fitness personality’ https://quiz.leadquizzes.com/q/46TLXI

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FabFitSquad

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website: https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

Are You Ready To Break Up With Overtraining’ https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/are-you-ready-to-break-up-with-overtraining/

Discover The Secrets To Healing Metabolic Damage

The post Are You Ready For A Mindset Overhaul’ appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

Have you ever said, I am so stuck I DON’T KNOW what to do with myself. You have to keep on reading or head over and listen to the podcast because IT IS YOUR BEHAVIOR, and you can start changing those behaviors today!

The first question that I asked Sabrena Jo was Why is behavior change so freaking hard. She says that question is fairly easy to answer, but SOO hard to solve! There is no quick solution for behavior change, and the reason it is so difficult is because human beings are resistant to change especially when it comes to doing something that is unfamiliar or that requires a lot of thought and effort, in addition to all the other stuff that we have going on through our days!

The thought and the effort is what totally stops people from moving forward with any sort of change. There is so much information out there readily available to us, that we can get caught up in trying to figure out exactly what to do and then actually giving it any effort falls to the wayside. The best thing to do is pick 3 things that you feel comfortable changing and go from there. Then you narrow down 1-2 things to start on immediately and focus on what you really want to work on. Don’t put yourself in a position where you are struck by paralysis by analysis because there is so much to work on. Start off with the 1-2 things and the rest will come easier after. This is about really getting to know yourself and say. Okay, what is the most important thing I can focus on now and how am I going to go about getting it done’

Start small

Starting small is so important when it comes to changing behavior. When you are looking at overall health and the bigger picture, any small change you can do to affect your overall health will result in greater changes across the board. It’s so hard to control your own physiology and your own metabolism, and when you compare yourself to others and you make pounds on the scale the focus of your success or failure, it is really hard to feel good about yourself when nothing budges after 7 days or goes in the opposite direction. So, you have to stop using the scale as your goal and letting it determine your worth and your progress!

Just feel good about yourself!
Feel good that you are making strides in the right direction!

Feel good that you are trying to change your health for the better!

And I know you want to lose weight, but I want you to give me a goal that has nothing to do with that scale!! Yes losing 50 pounds would be the But what about getting 7 hours of sleep Or 8 glasses of water I want you to start to think about how you physically feel vs that number on the scale.

When Sabrena is working with clients, she implements a 3 Lever System which is so simple, and ANYONE can do it! It includes:

1. Nutrition
2. Physical Activity
3. Individual/Lifestyle

Alright so let’s talk about Nutrition. Overhauling your entire nutrition plan is huge, especially when we are busy humans. But it is the #1 lever because we are frequently eating, we just have to. And it’s one of those behaviors that if you can tweak slightly, might make a huge difference. I totally understand the desire of meal plans and just tell me what to eat, but once you provide an example of what to follow, that may work for a few days, but then you are off to something else or life got in the way and that plan becomes impossible to follow.

I understand the need for simplicity off of a meal plan, but this has to be CHOSEN not DIRECTED. Choosing to do this and not being told I need to lose the weight will help you to understand the why. Why is this important to you’Try to understand the lever 3, individual and lifestyle factors, and how the nutrition is going to work in that lifestyle. Your expertise on yourself and shining a light on that and propping that up, where you are successful in X areas of your life will help you tremendously. Take some of those things and apply them to the next thing you want to change about health and so on and so forth as you move forward. Focus on the areas you want to change and focus on your strengths!

Life can be so complicated right, so why do we have to throw nutrition into another complicated layer BUT there is a lot of crap out there that you read that says if you don’t do this this or this then you won’t be healthy! And it’s all bullshit!!! Pick your battles. Pick what is possible for you right now in this moment! And trust me, it will go further than you can only imagine. And this process is going to be different for everyone! You cannot compare yourself to others!

No let’s talk about the physical activity/working out shall we. Exercise and physical activity SHOULD NOT be a punishment for eating a cupcake. It is for health and wellbeing and really the joy of movement, and it can be so difficult to reeducate people on this concept! I know for so many of us we used exercise as a means to an end!! But you really have to stop and figure out how movement is important to you”

What is physical activity anyways’ Physical activity is anything you are able to do to get moving!  Living a happy normal life with physical activity is in terms of walking, playing with kids, walking the dog or yard work is all physical activity. All of these count, because it makes you a healthier, a more well-rounded human being.

No don’t get me wrong, structured exercise is just as important, especially if it is important to you. But it is an option, it is your choice and should be something that works well with your lifestyle. How can you actually enjoy it when you do it vs just over doing it and not really loving it while you are doing it. Movement and exercise should not be a punishment. Instead you have to look at how it actually fits into your lifestyle and what you can do when you can do it.

Remember, this is a process. So many people lose sight of the process and only focus on the progress. When we focus on progress and we don’t have a process, how do we know where something is breaking down” Be willing to adapt and adjust and approach behavior change as a scientist. All scientists conduct experiments, they take what they learn, and they adjust and adapt accordingly. We want to give you permission to try something for a week or so and if it isn’t working, let’s figure out what works because it is completely LEGAL in the behavior change game!

When it comes to you, the individual and your lifestyle, what are you willing to tolerate’ What are your goals and what you are willing to do to get there’  If it’s weight loss, these are the levers we have to pull and how hard are you willing to pull them’ – Individual factors, preferences, limitations, genetics, training history, sleep, recovery, age, all of that falls into that 3rd lever and have to take this into account.

What is possible for you to do’ The small things are what counts!! Do you have a lot of life going on right now’ Then pick something small, walking, water, sleep, playing with kids, whatever it is, pick something that is for you. Know that you are doing something that is adding up and helping you day by day, and helping you to build belief in yourself. Belief that you are putting together this manual for yourself that creates a process that is repeatable. We all want a repeatable process. We are asking for you to have plan b’s and plan a’s when life throws you that inevitable curveball your way. So, biting off more than you can chew when you are starting something new will eventually set you up for failure. AND WE DON’T WANT THAT!

Figuring out ways and things that are simple enough, small enough to enact immediately to make a successful change that will build upon itself so you can have bigger and better changes. It’s all momentum and we want you to be able to do things without feeling like it’s overly effortful. You sure as heck don’t want to be tied up with the next thing or change you have to make. You just want to live your life!

Life can be complicated and so many things are thrown at us day in and day out, so you don’t want to make these changes complicated, so you don’t want to complicate your life any more than it possibly already is.  So keep it simple, implement small changes that blossom into BIGGER changes and more growth and on the road to living a happier, healthier life!

If you want to learn more about what Sabrena does, head over to ACE to learn more about resources that are made available to you, as well as information about becoming certified in either personal training, group fitness or health coaching. Because these certifications are one of the top certifications that you can have. And it can be done remotely!

What makes you feel magical”

That moment when I can help a client or person realize that they have the strength within themselves to make change. I don’t think a lot of people understand that they have the power. -Sabrena Jo

Looking to create your own process around weight loss’ Be sure to grab my new success series #foreverfatloss here is where I share a FOREVER plan for those of you who always start a diet with the best intentions but always find a way to cheat on it. Grab it right here.

LINKS

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FabFitSquad

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website: https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

https://twitter.com/sabrenajo

https://www.linkedin.com/in/sabrena-jo-7396a3166/

https://www.facebook.com/sabrenajofitness/

The post Ways to change your behavior that virtually no one knows about appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

If you currently feel or have ever felt like your life is a house fire and you have just been burnt to a freaking crisp and still smoking, you are going to want to read on… Because my girl Caitlin has some great advice to help you fix your burnouts, even if you aren’t recognizing that it is happening.

Rona times have given us this gianntttt pause and it has given us the chance to look at our lives PRE-RONA and POST-RONA.  Was your life before a house fire and are you still lit’ Or has Rona ignited this fire and turned it into a full-blown blaze’ How are you going to recognize this’  And how are you going to heal from it’  

Caitlin Donovan has experienced her fair share of burnouts, one so long that it occurred over and over again for 7 years. When burnouts become a constant cycle they are typically HARD TO RECOGNIZE.  If you do recognize it, at some point you are going to think that it has gotten better and you are in the clear, but in reality, it hasn’t gotten better at all. You have just got better at ignoring the signs and pushing them away.

As an acupuncturist, Caitlin has worked with clients for years helping them with their own burnouts and it wasn’t until an injury on her Achilles tendon, resulting in not being able to walk for months, she was FORCED take a physical break and realize that she did not ever stop doing and going.. She was always a doer, also on the go traveling, cross country skiing, hiking and always being on the go, this injury forced her to slow down and realize that she herself was in the middle of a burnout!

She did not know what the hell she was going to be able to do not being able to basically move for the next 4 months and got into this space where she had to figure out what she was going to do.  While in that space, Caitlin turned to her spirituality to help her figure out what in the actual fuck to do with her time now.  And one morning she woke up seeing BURNOUT PODCAST over and over again and at that moment she realized that she was going to continue to help others through that burnout like she has been doing with acupuncture, but through the power of podcast AND  take care of her own burnout at the same time!

When you go through burnout and you are experiencing constant stress, there are actual physiological changes that happen to your brain.  The actual grey matter in your brain will start to diminish and disappear with long term stress. And if you have been in this constant cycle for a long period of time, you don’t actually see the effect that it is having on your body.If stress was physical and say you were losing our eyebrows or fingernails, we’d lookkk in the mirror and wonder what the hell is going on!’ But because it is hidden, we are so adaptable and we become very good at saying, oh it will be better next week!

Stress is what is feeding this burnout and is the number one cause of it.

How do you even know if you are burnt out’

There are 2 very big things that are going to happen when you are burnt out. You are going to have A LOT of resentment accompanied by a ton of righteousness.  You will be stuck in this constant loop of resentment, hating everyone around you and not understanding why NO ONE even understands how hard it is for you, no one can see how hard it is for you and no one appreciates you. This was EYE OPENING for me!

Most of my burnout was due to resentment. Basically, doing shit that I didn’t want to do, because I thought it was expected of me or it was what I had to do to get what I wanted. Does this sound familiar to anyone’

On top of this, those coping mechanisms you have used for a while to help with the stress is no longer working. Come home from work, have a cocktail, fall asleep you are fine the next day. BUT NOW, you do the same thing, but you CAN’T fall asleep and you wake up in the morning feeling hungover from that ONE glass of wine. Your brain doesn’t want to shut off at night so that you can sleep, and you find yourself more exhausted than normal. Even exercise, if you work out to relieve stress or clear your head, now you cannot even do that because you are physically too exhausted to even get that work out in.

When things stop working that help you get through difficult times, then you are burnt out.

Listen, It’s ok to feel resentful sometimes, it is a normal feeling, but you have to raise your hand and start talking about what it is that you want, what it is that you feel as a way to set boundaries and not let it boil and blow up until you want to tell everyone to go  FUCK themselves.

So, let’s say you did blow up on someone, or you did explode in flames and finally come to a realization that are burnt the fuck out, you are exhausted, not yourself and you resent and are annoyed with every person you look. What in the hell do you do now’  Where do you go, where do you turn to and where do you even start’  Well, magic makers, you have to figure out where that resentment is coming from, what it is and start setting boundaries.

Caitlin has the tool for just this too. She has created this amazing Journal called the Resentment Journal that helps you to tackle resentment to figure out what is taking up the most of your energy and to stop hating everyone around you.  This journal helps you to figure out what you are resentful for, why you are resentful, it helps you to ask yourself better questions, it allows you to feel emotion without judgement, and it helps you to really look into yourself and figure out what it is that you can change to help you feel less annoyed and getting that energy back.

My boyfriend Tony Robbins said it best, “When you ask better questions you get better answers. Take a pause, what you are resentful for in your life. Start asking yourself that questions. So, let’s start with the lowest hanging fruit. What’s the smallest and easiest thing that you can do today to inject more ease and flow into your life right now’ EASE AND FLOW people is what you want!!

And girl, STOPPP putting so much pressure on yourself! 

If you were to break this down, a lot of the pressure that we put on ourselves is 1) self-inflicted and 2) fear of external judgement. We live in this social media society that it is SOOO easy to put a ton of freaking pressure on yourself and compare to yourself to every other person on Instagram. It is so very easy to see all of these people that are doing things that you are not or doing something you think is better, thus it becomes very easy for you to start taking all of that in and start feeling like shit.  You have to stop comparing yourself to others on social media!! LIKE STOP TODAYYYY!! And let go of feeling like everyone is judging you because most likely they are not and if they area WHO THE HELL CARES!

In order to be able to live through things with resilience, you have to take care of yourself enough on the day today to have the spare battery to deal with that that comes up when you are burnt out. You have to know that you cannot control everything that is happening around us or what happens to us, BUT you CAN control how you are going to deal with it when it comes at you.  Life is always going to throw you a curveball and it may not be this week, and it may not be this big as the shit we have going on right now with RONA, but you will be thrown a curveball.

Ultimately, this is really ALL ABOUT sitting down, getting real with yourself and OWNING YOUR SHIT.  Own your piece of the pie! And handle it like a boss.  You can get through the burnout; you can overcome it turn yourself around. You can start learning ways to heal from the burnout and move on afterwards.  And you CAN start watching for those signs of exhaustion and resentment creeping up to tell yourself that you are getting close to that flame and you are about to get crispy!

And this brings me full circle back to that resentment journal that Caitlin has. Journaling is really, truly an amazing thing. I love to do it and it helps me tremendously with my day to day life. I LOVE to write, and it really helps me dig down deep. Now, I know that it can be tough to sit with a blank sheet of paper and wonder WTF am I going to write, but once you do it, you will realize how powerful of an exercise it really is. Journal allows you to be honest with yourself, it allows you to create a space for you to do things without treating yourself poorly. This journal that Caitlin has to offer is great because there are clear questions that she is asking you. You can stop the judgment, stop trying to control the situation, increase the curiosity and give yourself the distance between yourself and the situation.

Ladies, we are coming off of this pause and for the next 18 months to 2 years, we have the time to figure things out, so take the time to decide how you want your life to look like. Check out this Resentment Journal and all of the tools that Caitlin Donovan has to offer!! And I cannot wait to hear from you about this.

Are you burnt out’ Do you feel it right now as we speak’ Reach out if you are or head over to Caitlin’s Website to learn even more about who she is, what she does and how she can help!

What makes you feel magical’

There is something about the way I was created that makes it very easy for me to see the connections between how somebody feels, the symptoms in their body, the symptoms in their life.  I am able to make connections other people can’t see. I don’t claim I am better than other people, I don’t even try to do it, it is just so natural to me that it has to be magic. There is no other answer for it. My magic is connecting the dots in your life and reflecting those dots back to you that it allow you to understand why the headache is related to the in your kitchen.

LINKS:

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FabFitSquad

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website: https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

Links:

www.caitdonovan.com

www.instagram.com/cait_donovan

www.facebook.com/caitdonovanburnoutcoach

www.linkedin.com/in/caitdonovan

Links for promo:

https://www.caitdonovan.com/resentment-journal

The post Quick and Easy Ways To Beat Burnout appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

Some routines are so elusive that we feel like we are chasing shadows most of the time and routines today are quickly looked upon as “boring”. Our society is conditioned to want instant gratification. Right now, RIGHT AWAY!  And this same thing goes for workouts. We are conditioned to change things every single day, and if you do change then you are doing something right. But it is in those routines that we do every day over and over again that is what is really going to lead to success.

How are you defining success”

This is the first thing I ask every single client that I work with. I ask this because years ago when I started working with a business coach, she asked me this question. That question made me take a giant pause because I don’t think many people take the time to define what success looks like for them. You may hear about success for other people and think that you want it, but seriously what do YOU want!! Why are you working so hard’ If you aren’t working towards your goal, what will motivate you to take consistent action.

I ask the question because I want to understand if you have created realistic goals. And then I follow up with Are you excited about that goal’ Can that goal be planned into your life’ Is that goal sustainable’And that my friends is what I call my REPS formula!! As you are building your routine you want to make sure that the end goal is realistic. It’s sustainable and can map it INTO YOUR LIFE!

Many will say routines are boring, but I will say routines are the gateway to success. They help us to establish priorities, help us to stop procrastinating and help us to track our goals. Plus, it helps us to get stuff done!

So, here is an example of that.

I have defined my goal and in the next 12 weeks, I want to drop a dress size or 6 pounds. I start by putting together a plan and look at my routine to see what I am doing on a day in and day out basis to lead you to my result.  While writing this plan, it is easy for us to procrastinate.have to find the right diet, trainer, coach, gym schedule, blah blah blah! It is not about doing 50 different things to drop that dress size, it is me getting my mindset shifted so that I am going to do this and be so crystal clear about what it is we are trying to achieve.

First, we are going to DEFINE YOUR SUCCESS. I already mentioned this above a little bit, and I don’t want this to make you feel stressed out. So, keep it simple and grab out that piece of paper. I want you to go old school and write some things down throughout this blog to help you a little bit better!

Now, let’s LOOK AT OUR ROUTINES. Do these goals you have set for yourself make you feel good or stressed out’? You should have a little pressure, but not a TON! What are your current routines day in a day out to lose those 6 pounds’? Am I tracking my food’ Am I sleeping’ Am I stressed’? It all adds up, it all counts. Write down your routine today on that same sheet of paper and sleep on it. Take out that paper and write what is working and what is not working and go through that routine.? Look at those routines and be very honest with yourself and if you can’t, that is when you hire a coach or get a friend that is not afraid to tell you. This list will be pretty telling because our routines are our guidepost. It’s something that tells you, “Hey Girl You Are off course!

Success needs to feel like something you are marching towards. It should feel effortless. As you write this list, I want you to think about this.  What do you look forward to doing and are you excited about it’ And if you are not excited, what can you do now to tweak this, so you feel more excited about it’  With the list, review your daily activities. Are these things getting you closer to your 6-pound weight loss’ And if it’s not, start reviewing those daily activities. Weight loss doesn’t have to be a struggle, it doesn’t have to be a grind. You can choose differently.

Give yourself 2-week sprints to see where you and how you are doing. So, the next 2 weeks, what am I going to commit to’ Tracking food’ Going to the gym 3 days a week’ Water’ Small micro-commitments it what is necessary so that you can see that progress. And don’t focus on THE SCALE. Come up with non-scale victories. Things that you can feel and see you are doing to say you are on the right path.

Now that you see what is working and not working, you can work on a DAILY SCHEDULE. This isn’t what you think it is either!  Trust me, I don’t like being strictly confined to a schedule All it means is that you want to give yourself some guidance, but I do not want your day to live by the clock.  Just start by giving yourself 3 things to do every single day. (3 tasks to complete in the day). Start small instead of trying to make a list of 500 things because when you only finish 5 out of the 400, you feel like crap and will be hard on yourself, so start small.

Let’s also be sure to take into consideration flexible accountability. You are just playing and seeing what is working and not working as you go along. What do you have to change’ How do you have to change it’ And reduce the scope of how much activity you really have to do! If you can’t fit in 3 hours at the gym, that is okay, fit in 30 minutes of a workout at home. As long as you are moving your body than you got this! (And the same goes for food. Create a menu, meal prep, and be prepared.)

At the end of the day, routines help us become the people we want to be. Start thinking about your current routine, how does it work and how does it guide you to your success. But you CANNOT miss STEP 1, DEFINE WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE SO YOU CAN BUILD A ROUTINE!!

If you are lost and need a little more guidance, grab my 50 Routines to Start. And omg, YOU DON’T have to do all 50, this list is just a great brainstorming tool to help get you started today magic makers!!

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FabFitSquad

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website: https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

The post The Power of A Daily Routine appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.