Same, friend. I’ve been there—crying on the StairMaster, convinced the answer was more discipline, more hustle, more “perfect.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t discipline at all. It was desperation dressed in Lululemon.

The Moment Everything Cracked

Let me take you back. I was two weeks out from a fitness competition. It was also my birthday. My husband, being the sweetheart he is, found a restaurant that could serve me white fish and asparagus so I wouldn’t “blow my prep.”
Sounds supportive, right? Except I cried through that workout. Because in that moment, I realized my healthy lifestyle was actually stealing my life.

So I quit the show. We went out for a real birthday dinner—with cake.
I’d love to say that was my big breakthrough, but honestly? It was just the first crack in the foundation.

Discipline vs. Desperation

Here’s what I know now:
You think you’re being disciplined, but really? You’re just desperate. You’re chasing a rulebook that was never written for YOUR life.

For me, the gym was an escape from a job I hated, a way to control something in a life that felt out of control. But control has a cost—and mine was joy.

The Hawaiian Wake-Up Call

Fast forward a few years. I’m in Hawaii celebrating a big birthday, and I see this local woman at the beach. No guilt. No worry. Just soaking up sunshine like it’s her job. Meanwhile, I’d spent months dieting for this trip… and still felt like I didn’t “hit my goal.”

I thought, “Why can’t I just enjoy this?”
That’s when it hit me: healthy had become a performance. I wasn’t living, I was earning my worth with workouts and food rules.

The Flip Flop Life Was Born

That’s when I wrote a manifesto. Yep, a whole manifesto that I hid for SIX years because it scared me. It said things like:
✅ I’m done micromanaging every bite, step, and calorie.
✅ I’m done believing health has to be hard.
✅ I want a life where health feels effortless—like flip-flops instead of stilettos on a hill.

And now, I’m ready to share it with you.

What If Healthy Could Be Easy?

Imagine:
✔ Waking up Monday without promising, “This week I’ll be perfect.”
✔ Ordering fries because you want them—not because you calculated how many burpees they cost.
✔ Enjoying life without tracking every bite.

That’s The Flip Flop Life™. No rules. No guilt. No grind to earn your worth.

Ready to Rewrite the Rulebook?

You don’t need another diet. You don’t need to grind harder.
You need permission to do it differently.
And here it is.

Links

Flip Flop Life Manifesto https://www.fitgirlmagic.com/fflwaitlistfall2025

Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic

Free Resources: https://www.fitgirlmagic.com/freeresources_podcast Website:  http://www.kimbarnesjefferson.com 

The post Is Your Healthy Lifestyle Actually Stealing Your Life? |318 appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

The founder of The Strong Academy sat down with me on the most recent episode of Fit Girl Magic podcast to help us out with all of this. Venus (Ve) Davis created this academy so that she can help corporate people transform their fitness as well as work with committed individuals. Ve firsthand has experience with having a very demanding schedule and she is showing us how to put it all together and make time for yourself!

So the big question I get all the time is, “How do we take care of ourselves from home now and find the time to not only workout, but make sure we have food, manage work and work calls, as well as everything else’”  You are trying to find harmony without overwhelming yourself.

There are so many of us out there that are just trying to do too damn much.  So how do break free from that overwhelm’  First you are going to write down 5 things that are creating stressors for you right now. Then you have to take a step back and REALLY try and figure out how you are going to find balance in it all.

The biggest thing that people now at home all day struggle with the most is finding time to move their body and finding something to eat.  And this is when I check in with my clients to figure out what they are doing for THEIR SELF CARE after they are done helping everyone else in the house.  Are you even taking any time out for yourself to do something you want or need or get a workout in’  Chances are you are not because you are not thinking about yourself, BUT you have to make that time for you.

You have to change the way we are thinking about things. Like figuring out how you are going to get your workout in now that you are home all day. This is your chance to accept the challenge because YOUR BODY IS THE GYM!  Figure out ways to make it great outside of the physical gym.  (And if your gyms are now open; you can always split your time between the gym and at home if you want to.)  But you have to create that balance that works for you.

So, what about the peeps that can only get a workout in, in front of a trainer or during a class’  This is when you have to challenge yourself.  What strength training can you do at home’  Whatever you need to grab to make that workout feel better for you. Or find other ways to strength train but get creative with what you are doing and with what you have.  There is always that possibility with RONA that things may shut down again and if you don’t find a new way to train you will be in a world of hurt if you don’t know what to do and rely only on a gym to get it done!

The biggest nugget of knowledge that you must take away from this is TIME MANAGEMENT!   I know that before everything shut down, you put everything in a calendar and treat it as an appointment, but YOU still need to do this!  Time management is so important when you aren’t leaving the house. You have to try and block out adequate time for every part of our day!  Be sure to take the time to schedule the things that are important to keep you balanced throughout the day and week.

During those time blocks, make time to get up and move around.  Take breaks and stretch or go walk up and down the stairs a few times. Rest your eyes from the screen every so often as well.  Create a habit of eating, drinking and moving every single day!

(TIP: in the mornings throw on your workout clothes, that way when you get a break, you can get in a quick 15-minute workout 2-3 times a day.  Or you can head right out to work out once you are done working for the day)  Yes I know some days are going to go as planned, because if you are home with kids, it doesn’t but if you can at least be prepared, it will make it a lot easier to manage.

The movement is such an important part of your day when you are working at home and trying to reach fitness or weight loss goals.  On a zoom call a few times a day’  Pop that camera off and do some squats or sit ups while you listen to your meeting!  Remember, your body is the gym.  You don’t have to wait till 6pm to get it in. You can be doing little things throughout the day that add up so that you feel good about taking care of yourself.

The first thing I always hear from people is that they do not have enough time in their day to do anything.  But you have 10 free minutes, here and there right’  Take 10 minutes 3 times a day and you are already at 30 minutes of moving or workouts. You have 10 minutes in your day to do something, I can guarantee it.

No matter what is happening, no matter the circumstances, we have to always be in the position to take care of ourselves and get the training in to be able to take care of all these other things.  Make it fun, make it interesting and make it so you want to take a quick break and get it in each day.  Set small goals to start with and these will make it so much easier to get to the bigger picture. Just keep pressing forward and remember those small goals and challenges and take them as wins every single day.

It is so rewarding to listen to clients and hear about where they are having challenges and discover how they can make changes with those challenges.  It’s so rewarding because once they take small steps and see those small changes happen for themselves. Then they want to take on those next bigger steps!  They see these changes and want to push for even more change within themselves.

You have to SLOW DOWN TO SPEED UP.   So, for those people who are willing to accept the challenge of slow, they start to realize that, “oh, the more I get  a win under my belt then I can do this, I got this and it’s sustainable.”  And they realized that taking it slow is going to help in the long run. 

Ve and I were talking about this during the podcast and we just LOVE when we say something to a client and they are kind of skeptical, they are willing to try this said thing and then 2-3 months later they are like “WOW you are right!”.  And NOW they want to know what is next!!!  When they finally get on board and see how amazing they can be, you are like, “YES!!! You finally tapped into your vision!!”

We love when we see what you guys can do when you set your mind to it.  As coaches, we love when you can take tips that we suggest and even though you are unsure at first, you persevere, and you crush it!  So that is what we want you to do while you are at home too!  We want you to take your day by the horns and be in control of it.  You set the tone of your schedule, your time blocking.  You make sure you TAKE CARE OF YOU, just like you are taking care of everyone else in your household.  If you don’t keep you on point, then the rest of the house sinks with the ship.  So, take care of yourself, start with those small steps, one thing at a time and we know that you can do it!

What makes you feel magical Ve’

My son! He is 24 and when I look at him every day it is reflective of everything that has been a challenge, that has been a success, everything that has been rewarding. Everything is wrapped up when I see him because he is the story of my perseverance.  That kid makes me feel magical every day. It is a profound blessing and I just look to him every day for strength and encouragement and willpower to persevere and do more of what I love.

Magic Makers be sure to check this girl out over on the socials and her website!  She is LAUNCHING her brand-new program The Strong Academy and will be having a Virtual Launch party for October 8th for The Strong Academy!  Ve’s wisdom and hope for members of The Strong Academy is simple: “Be Well. Stay Committed. Train for Life.”

Ve is totally kick ass, so I wanted to share some more about her, here at the end of the blog.  She has an amazing background in fitness and has her share of experience when it comes to this.

Venus (Ve) Davis is the vivacious and passionate founder of The Strong Academy, an intensive coaching and training program devoted to facilitating transformative fitness for professionals and committed individuals. As a Collegiate Athletic Trainer, ACE Certified Personal Trainer, Functional Movement Coach and USA Weightlifting Coach, Ve has over 10 years of experience in Fitness and Wellness.

LINKS

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FabFitSquad

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website: https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

Ve’s Socials

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Coach-Ve-192943168198932/
IG: @iamcoachve
Twitter: @iamcoachve
Website: https://www.thestrongacademy.com/

The post How To Create A Healthy Routine In A New Normal appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.