Stop Waiting for Someday: How to Overcome Overthinking and Take Action

Have you ever treated a life decision like it was the final exam?

You research every option. Make the pros-and-cons list. Save screenshots. Listen to podcasts. Ask your friends. Open 37 browser tabs.

Then you hover over the imaginary “submit” button, terrified you’re about to choose the wrong answer.

Here’s the good news: Life isn’t grading you.

There is no invisible judge standing nearby with a red pen waiting to tell you that you picked the wrong workout, hobby, career, vacation or next chapter.

But that doesn’t stop many smart, capable women from getting stuck trying to make the perfect decision.

Meet Itchy-Feet Iris.

Are You an Itchy-Feet Iris?

Iris isn’t lazy or unmotivated. She’s thoughtful.

She wants to feel sure before she acts.

She has the notes, screenshots, Pinterest boards, podcast queue and perfectly organized research folder. She has considered every possible outcome, including a few that probably have a 0.0002% chance of happening.

What doesn’t she have?

Certainty.

So she keeps waiting.

She’ll book the trip someday.
Try the class someday.
Start the business someday.
Call the friend someday.
Change her routine someday.

But someday isn’t a date on the calendar.

It’s where our ideas, adventures and dreams go to wait. Sometimes they sit there so long that they quietly die.

Are You Gathering Information or Looking for Permission?

Years ago, I worked with a client who wanted to sleep better. She was getting fewer than six hours of sleep and felt exhausted.

I suggested a simple experiment: choose a consistent bedtime and try it for two weeks.

No pressure. No promise that it would solve everything. Just an experiment.

At our next session, she hadn’t tried it. She was still trying to determine the “right” bedtime.

Then she found a supplement online.

Then she listened to another sleep podcast.

Then she discovered another strategy she wanted to research.

Eventually, I realized she wasn’t collecting solutions.

She was collecting certainty.

She wanted a guarantee that changing her bedtime would work before she tried it. But health doesn’t work that way. Neither does life.

What works beautifully for one woman may do absolutely nothing for another. The only way to learn what works for you is to test it.

The next time you feel the urge to do more research, ask yourself:

Do I need more information, or am I looking for permission?

That question can save you six months and at least 47 browser tabs.

Why We Struggle to Trust Ourselves

When Philip and I were dating, I wanted to visit Hawaii for two weeks.

Philip told me, “You don’t go on vacation for two weeks unless it’s your honeymoon.”

I disagreed. If I was flying that far, I wanted two weeks.

A few weeks later, we were talking with friends when Hawaii came up. One of them said, “If you’re traveling that far, you have to stay for two weeks.”

Suddenly, Philip agreed.

Apparently, my opinion needed peer review.

We still laugh about it because we’ve now taken several two-week vacations and even spent a month away.

But how often do we do the same thing?

We know what we want, but we keep asking experts, friends, Google and anyone else who will listen to confirm that we’re allowed to want it.

Sometimes you don’t need another opinion.

You need to trust the one you already have.

Perfectionism Can Look Like Productivity

Overthinking doesn’t always look like fear.

Sometimes it looks incredibly responsible.

Research feels productive. Planning feels safe. Making another list lets us believe we’re moving forward without risking an uncomfortable outcome.

But preparation and procrastination can wear the same outfit.

The difference is whether your research eventually leads to action.

If you’ve been studying the same decision for months without trying anything, more information probably isn’t the answer.

You may be afraid to get it wrong.

But not every decision needs to be forever.

You can try pickleball without becoming Pickleball Polly. You can attend one class without buying all the equipment. You can test a new workout without swearing your lifelong allegiance to it.

You’re allowed to try something and decide it isn’t for you.

That isn’t failure.

That’s information.

Replace Certainty With Curiosity

Certainty asks:

What if I make the wrong decision?
What if this doesn’t work?
What if I waste my time?
What if other people disagree?

Curiosity asks:

What might happen if I try?
What could I learn?
What if I actually enjoy it?
What if this works better than I expected?

Curiosity creates movement because it doesn’t demand a guaranteed outcome.

It turns the decision into an experiment instead of a verdict on your intelligence, discipline or worth.

This can be especially helpful with health and fitness in midlife.

Women over 40 have been conditioned to believe that getting results requires following a very specific formula:

Exercise a certain number of days
Eat according to the perfect plan
Hit every target
Never miss a workout
Complete every habit on the list

When life gets busy and you can’t do all of it, you decide there’s no point in doing any of it.

But what if you stopped waiting for the perfect week?

What if you chose one thing you could do today?

A 10-minute walk.
An earlier bedtime.
One balanced meal.
A glass of water.
A phone call to the friend you keep meaning to contact.

Small actions give you real-life information. More research only gives you more hypothetical outcomes to worry about.

Stop Deciding How the Answer Must Arrive

Sometimes we become so focused on how something should happen that we miss what’s already in front of us.

There’s an old story about a man trapped during a flood. A car arrives to help him evacuate, but he refuses because he believes God will save him.

As the water rises, a boat comes by. He refuses again.

Finally, a helicopter arrives, and he still refuses.

The man drowns and asks God why he wasn’t saved.

God says, “I sent you a car, a boat and a helicopter. What else did you need?”

We often miss opportunities because they don’t look the way we imagined.

The answer may not arrive as a perfectly organized five-step plan. It may look like an invitation, a chance conversation or one small opportunity to test the waters.

If you’re waiting for fireworks and trumpets, you might walk right past the little door that’s already open.

How to Stop Overthinking and Take Action

Choose one thing you’ve been calling “someday.”

Not the biggest or scariest item on the list. Start with something small enough to test without turning your entire life upside down.

Then:

Stop researching for 24 hours.
Ask whether you need information or permission.
Choose one small action you can complete this week.
Treat the action as an experiment.
Pay attention to what you learn.

Don’t ask whether you did it perfectly.

Ask:

What felt good?
What felt harder than expected?
What would I change next time?
Do I want to keep going?

There is no passing or failing here.

You’re collecting experience instead of imaginary outcomes.

Your Someday Experiment

What is one thing you’ve been thinking about, researching or talking yourself out of?

Set the bedtime.
Book the introductory class.
Take the day trip.
Send the email.
Call the friend.
Walk into the new gym.
Try the thing.

You don’t have to commit to it forever.

You only have to get curious enough to take one step and courageous enough to see what happens.

Because life isn’t asking you to get everything right.

It’s inviting you to participate.

And if it doesn’t work?

You didn’t fail.

You found out.

Listen to this episode of the Fit Girl Magic podcast to meet Itchy-Feet Iris and learn why curiosity with a side of courage will take you further than waiting for certainty.

Want to discover which room in your life needs more attention? Take the What’s Missing From Your Life Right Now? quiz and meet your Flip Flop Life persona.

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