Are You Ready To Find The Courage To Change

I’ve been contemplating… WHAT keeps women stuck??? Why do women say they are stuck? What are the behaviors they consistently do that cause them to stay in this stuck place?  And how can we actually overcome these and get past the stuckness!? We are letting these things hold us back from getting to where we want and reaching our goals!  And we have to stop, we have to move past them and stop allowing them to take over our lives. We have to stop giving life to these things keeping us stuck and just toss them to the side and move right on through them! 

So, I came up with 4 reasons and I talked about them in a past podcast, but they are the 4 R’s; Resistance, Rigidity, Release, and Respect. But today we are going to be diving into RESISTANCE!  Resistance is even though I know something is not working, I do it anyway! Even though I am told to do it in a different way, I resist doing it…. EVEN if it’s good for me!!

Let’s start with a quote from Abraham Hicks.  “Your life will simply be as good as you allow it to be.”  With resistance, I need to allow… I need to allow it to be different. If what you were doing was working, you wouldn’t be stuck and you would have the results you want. So, let’s really unpack what the heck is going on!

LET GO OF PERFECTION. You think you need to be perfect.  You think perfect action gives you perfect results. But that is false.  Imperfect action, that is what you want!  Imperfect action shows you where your blind spots are and where your holes are. It’s the holes we have to fill in. It’s the holes that keep us from getting our success.

YOU DON’T NEED TO STRUGGLE! Why do we think we have to struggle? We tell ourselves, “If I am going to lose weight it has to be hard, I have to sacrifice.” WRONG! Get off the struggle bus and stop with that!   Easy is earned!!  In order to bust through resistance, we have to shift our behavior.

Here are the 3 ways to bust through the resistance!  First one. DECIDE.  Make the decision that you are done chasing your tail.  Second, you have to work through the suck. It is going to be uncomfortable. It isn’t going to be easy. But you have to work through the suck!  And third. You have to create sustainability.  Create a sustainable plan that is realistic, you are excited about it, you can plan for it, it works for your life, and it is sustainable!

So, let’s break those three things down a bit more shall we?
Make a decision.
Make a decision and make it work.  What is it we are trying to change when making our decision to change? Who do you want to do it for? Is it for you? Is it your doctors saying you need to do this? Think about the why and why we are making these decisions. Are you ready to make these decisions? What’s the motivation behind the decision? This is your why, why do you want to do it? In the decision, you have to create the environment where you are going to be successful. You have to be accountable.

How do we get through the suck???
We want immediate gratification…  We don’t know a lot about the fear of missing out… So, change our expectations of how quickly we want things to happen, and this has translated into fitness. But remember, this instant gratification doesn’t happen in your body!  I am not going to set you up for failure. I am not going to say you’ll be good in 9 days. I ask people to give me 90 days and they want 9. I am realistic, I don’t want to set you up for failure. On day 10. Will you be able to repeat the 9 days? I am more about sustainability and repeatability. I want you to be able to keep repeating what we are doing together day in and day out!

Endurance is going to help us get through that. So how do I create a plan? The plan has to be realistic for you.  You have to look at what is going on in your life.  This would be seasonality.  Our lives have seasons too!  When is a slow time in your life that you have time to put this into your schedule? Get clear on that and make a plan around that.  Figure out your seasons, create a plan, and be okay with that sometimes we have to eb and flow.

When we set those goals for ourselves, we have to be realistic and specific. A lot of people are like, “oh, I need to lose this weight…”. Okay, so how much weight do you think you need to lose? Or would you rather lose fat and get tighter? These are 2 different approaches, so we have to be clear on what we want.  Are we chasing a number on the scale or a body composition goal? The scale doesn’t mean butt-kiss! The scale is your measurement of gravity.

As we come through the suck, we have to be really clear as to what we are looking at. You are going to have sucky days, but as we go through it we have to keep saying this is what we want!  Be specific with what it is you are trying to achieve.  Also, we have to be realistic.  How many days a week do you think you can work out? Is it realistic? And as we make our plan, be specific.  If you say you are going to work out 3 days this week, what days and what time? Put it on your phone!!!  How frequently are you doing it? What are you going to do when you are working out on those days? Have a plan for that!  [In my Fit Girl Magic Society,  you get 3 workouts every month and you have some conditioning exercises that can be done anywhere on the planet! I set you up to be able to get them done!]  We need to know specifically what we are doing so we can adapt our behaviors as we are going and start to get ourselves into a rhythm and pattern!

Sustainability.
So, this lands us at sustainability!  This is what we want! We want to create this fit girl magic!  I want to create amazing habits that lead to routines. Those routines will lead to consistency, and that consistency is what gets you your results! It has to be sustainable so that you can see yourself doing it for 3 months, 3 years, or 30 years! If we can’t see ourselves doing it, then we have to ask ourselves why the heck we are even picking this path!? How is my progress doing? Do the check! How do you feel when you work out? Does it feel like you can do this? Challenging but doable!? This is how we are going to build identity!  Pick things you can be & what you can do. That is what gets you to your identity.  What are you willing to give to get?

We have to start thinking about it. Why do we want these things?  How do I get through the sucky part? What will come up that will suck for me? And then… I challenge you to EMBRACE THE SUCK!

If you’re being resistant to something, just say you are ready!  Decide it’s time to make a change.  Come up with a plan to get you through the suck.  Start creating the habits that build you in!

Let me know in the comments… What have you been resisting and where have you been stuck!?

LINKS

Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/kimbarnesjeffersoncoach

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Website:
https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

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