Boundaries Over BS: How I Learned to Choose Me (And Kicked Burnout to the Curb)

Ever feel like your schedule is a runaway train—calls, family drama, work deadlines—all colliding until you’re running on fumes? I’ve been there. I even slept on my desk once because I just couldn’t say “no.” Yikes!
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The Wake-Up Call

I was hustling hard, thinking that if I just pushed through, I’d magically have it all under control. But instead, I hit rock bottom. It wasn’t the diet or the workout that was failing me—it was my inability to set boundaries. That’s when I had a heart-to-heart with the brilliant Elizabeth Strenzl, the queen of “Boundaries Over BS.” Her story resonated deeply with me: despite being a psychologist helping others, she too had neglected the power of saying “enough!” until her life was running wild.

Boundaries Are Verbs, Not Nouns

Elizabeth’s mantra was simple but revolutionary: boundaries are verbs. They’re not just static rules—they’re dynamic, actionable commitments that help you show up as your best self. For example, instead of setting a rule like “no phone calls after [9:30],” she rephrases it with an “I” statement:

“I don’t take calls after [9:30] because when I do, I’m cranky and don’t show up as a good friend the next day.”

This simple shift—from dictating what others should or shouldn’t do, to declaring what I need for myself—made all the difference.

The [9:30] Cutoff: My New Best Friend

One of my favorite takeaways? Establishing a firm 9:30pm phone-call cutoff. Imagine protecting your evenings from being hijacked by last-minute emergencies or the never-ending “quick chat” that never ends. By clearly stating that unless it’s a genuine emergency, all calls will have to wait until the next day, I reclaimed my time and sanity. It sounds sassy, but it’s oh-so-necessary when you’re determined to avoid burnout.

DIY Boundary Scripts & Sassy Strategies

What I love most about Elizabeth’s approach is that she doesn’t leave you hanging with vague ideas. Instead, she offers ready-to-go scripts and fun strategies for all sorts of scenarios—whether it’s handling that friend who always calls at the wrong time, or gently letting your family know that your gym time is sacred. It’s all about making your boundaries work for you without feeling like you’re throwing people under the bus.

More Than Just “No”

Setting boundaries isn’t just about saying “no” to external pressures—it’s also about managing your internal dialogue. We all have that inner critic who convinces us we’re being selfish when we choose ourselves. Elizabeth reminded me that taking time for self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Whether it’s choosing moderation with dessert (instead of going cold turkey and then bingeing later) or blocking out time for reflection, it all adds up to a healthier, happier me.

The Journey Isn’t Perfect—And That’s Okay!

Like any good relationship, learning to set boundaries is a process of trial and error. Sometimes, I’ve set too rigid boundaries that backfired, only to adjust and find a balance that works. It’s a journey of constant learning, and that’s what makes it so rewarding. Remember: if you mess up, that’s just part of the process. Every “oops” is an opportunity to refine your approach and get closer to the life you truly deserve.

Ready to Choose Yourself?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or just tired of always putting others first, it might be time to have your own conversation about boundaries. Ask yourself: where am I feeling drained? What parts of my life are begging for a little self-care? Then, start small—maybe with a [9:30] cutoff or a quick “I need a minute” before diving into your next task.

For more guidance, come hang out on Instagram @boundariesoverbs. Trust me, reclaiming your time and energy is not only possible—it’s downright magical.

Here’s to choosing ourselves, one boundary at a time!

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Website:  http://kimbarnesjefferson.com 

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