It’s possible to have balance in life

Do you feel like you need more focus and harmony in your life’ But is it even possible, or does it only happen in Lifetime movies ””””???” I truly believe that you can have it! And you can make it happen!

First, you have to get out of your own way.. So many women get themselves wrapped around the axle that doesn’t really matter. They are majoring in the minors and worrying about toooo many small details. And listen, I am sorry for calling you out. BUTTT sometimes you need people to help get you out of our own way and call attention to things to help you see them more clearly!

Just be honest… Some of the things you are focusing on JUST DON’T MATTER! So how do you keep the main thing the main thing and not get wrapped up in the other crap’ What is stopping you from living your healthiest life’ And it boils down to these 2 things… TIME and NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO! So today, I am going to break down what that means when you say that you are waiting for the “right time”.

How do you know when the right time is, and how many things in your life have actually happened at the right time…’ How do you let the chips fall where they may and figuring it out along the way’ How do you get into action’

I read this book by Stephen Covey, called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. And in the book, he talks about whatever you choose to be successful at, you have to have the end in mind! You have to be crystal clear at what success looks like for you! So, when you begin with the end in mind and you have an end point, you can figure out what you want and how to get there. How do I focus all my energy and efforts into getting that’

Think about what your end is and break up with your self-imposed rules that you have set for yourself and the pressure you put on yourself!

You DO NOT need to chase perfection in order to achieve your goals! Because guess what happens when you chase perfection’ You end up putting so much pressure on yourself that you never get to where you want to be. Our society has groomed us to think this, and this is simply not the case! You can achieve your goals without putting too much pressure on yourself!

To me, life is not about perfection, it’s about BALANCE. Some days we have more marbles on one side than the other. So, you have to figure out ways to move the marbles from side to side to create balance. It won’t be level, but it doesn’t have to be so lopsided… If you are that person who is always tired, what do your marbles look like’ Just remember too.. It’s not about level playing field. It’s about how I can keep my scale where I want it, vs where I don’t want it to be. And don’t get me wrong. You will have ups and downs, you are HUMAN! But everyday should not feel that you don’t have enough time to do anything for you, or feeling like you got backed over by a dump truck!

Take some time for yourself each day so that you can check in with yourself and your body to make sure that you are balancing those marbles in the right places. GIVE YOURSELF permission to do something for yourself. Take the pressure off of you and ignore any guilt that creeps in or that annoying mind chatter! You have to take the pressure off and make yourself a priority! And you have to do it without guilt! The priority is NOT perfection. How do you get into continuous momentum’ If you aren’t giving some time for yourselves, you will not have the confidence or motivation to work on reaching our goals.

Take it from my own personal experiences…

I used to put so much brain power into, is this good, is this bad’ Is it wrong’ Is that right’ It sucked the fun out of everything! I was in a grind every day, the same thing every single day. Everything had to be perfect, and I was NOT SO FUN KIM! I was not living in balance because to me, everything had to be perfect! When I finally stopped competing, I said I couldn’t be that machine anymore. Then I went through a time of bingeing. I had reached my breaking point. I needed peace and harmony! And I need to find a place where my health doesn’t revolve around how I look.

I needed to find a place where my relationships aren’t put on hold because I have to get a workout in or meal prep…. I didn’t want to calculate what I could or couldn’t have. I needed some serious downtime. I needed to get my marbles off one side to create balance and sanity. And let me tell you, when I finally did that, it CHANGED MY LIFE!

“You are not a product of your circumstances. You are a product of your decisions.”
– The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. By Stephen Covey

It all starts with a choice. A choice is a decision and I have to decide what I want! So, what are your circumstances’ Whatever they are, those are the decisions you are going to make! If you decide you are going to get healthier. How do your circumstances change’ And please know… The action does not have to be a huge thing! It doesn’t have to require a lot of effort, but it can help get the momentum underneath you and get it done and get you moving towards where you want to be!

James Clear says, “The habits we are trying to create is our obstacle.” We have to practice this habit to get it because the more you practice, the more that your habits will become a part of who you are, of your everyday routine.

And please, please remember this… and keep telling yourself. Be ok with messing up! Be ok with our priorities shifting! When you decide to make “it” a priority, it now has to go on our schedule… Scheduling gives you control and allows you to prioritize and gives you that control back into your day.

The best advice I ever got when I started my business was to pick 3 things… Plan 3 things a day. These are 3 must do things that whatever project you are working on, these 3 things will move your dial forward. When I get those 3 things done, I feel accomplished. You can get these scheduled the night before or even a week ahead.

Practice whatever works for you! If you don’t schedule it or write it down, your day will get away from you, trust me! What makes you keep going” SUCCESS! It is the FAILURES that make you want to quit and want to kick the wall and scream at the world!

And back to the part before I talked about making you a priority. Also schedule in some chill time! I call it mellow yellow time for me! If you are someone who is go go go, can you do something to help you sit and relax’ And if you say you can’t, I highly suggest you work on that, because you will thank yourself once you have!

Then.. I want you to schedule sleep! You can’t say I’ll sleep when I am dead! It doesn’t work that way. You should strive for at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night. Many of us ignore sleep, but you need to start thinking about getting sleep. How it restores your bodies and gives us the energy you need to get through the day. Honor your health and yourself and do this one thing for yourself and actually get some sleep. Your body needs it!

We all need accountability!! You over commit and then beat yourself up… So if you can find a coach or a friend, having a partnership and accountability that matters and will help to keep us from beating ourselves up so much!
When I have that person, I tell them what I am going to do this week and I do it because I know someone is looking over my shoulder! And when this is going on, I just know that I can get it done. When I have no one and it’s just me…. We can fall off the wagon.

You also want to schedule the foods you love too! I call this Pre-emptive Eating. What causes you to derail’ What is a food that you avoid so much it can be the thing to cause you to binge on it’ For one of my clients, she loves salty foods and chips. So, every day she eats kalamata olives and it gives her the saltiness she needs so she doesn’t want chips all day! For me… my non-negotiable is my cream and sugar in my coffee! It won’t derail me from my day, and it gives me what I need!

Alright.. Let’s get clear on my 4 things.. What are my Priorities’ Getting things into a schedule. Getting someone to hold us accountable about what we say we want to do.
Figure out your big goal and how you can bring it down to reality with a 30-day goal. Then 60 and 90 days. Take smaller whacks at it because when I have 30 day cycles for my goal, I am less likely to sabotage myself! This is when I can see results rapidly and not in the distant future. I can see it happening right now when we set these smaller goals! Because guess what” When we get things down to a smaller scale, it helps us move on and forward, not backward.

Do you want to continue to feel like you have to do all the things, be perfect and let your health take a back seat’ Or get your life back’ Or have a little more balance and sanity’ If you do, ask yourself. Do your actions match your end results’ Do you need support and accountability’ Can you create a schedule for the next 24 hours’ How can we chunk down that goal for 30 days’

If you need anything, reach out to me on the socials!! Let’s chat about this. I want to know! How can I help. How can we get you towards your goals! If you reach out, put priority in your message… that way I know what podcast you are referring too!

LINKS

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/kimbarnesjeffersoncoach

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website: https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

Reboot Perfection Masterclass
When you are tired of obsessing over every detail about food or workouts
https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/perfection-masterclass

Stephen Covey 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
https://amzn.to/3EnMoWm