Dr. Tamara Beckford is a wife, mom, and emergency physician. She is the CEO of UR Caring Docs and the UR Caring Society, where she helps busy professional women put their health and wellness first without guilt.

During the pandemic, there were a lot of things that were brought to life for Dr Beckford.  Like, what is important and what is just not that important. She started to look around and realize she was more than surviving she was thriving. There were so many people burnt out around her, they had tons of guilt and so many other things!  At the time medical director mentioned to her that she looked like, she was much better than others on the staff. It got her thinking, what was she doing differently? One of the things she started to do was work on SELF. In the moment she hadn’t reflected that she was working on herself, her mind, and her time. And during that time, it actually became one of the happiest moments in her life, which felt super weird to her!

“Emotionally I was so happy. So, what was it that I did? I was taking care of ME! I had to take care of myself in order for all the other duties in my life to fall into place.”

I am not only an ER physician, but I am also a mother and I wear many hats. My body said, we are going to get through this, but we are not going to break. We are going to build! You are going to need to work from the inside out, not only resilience for now, but for the future.  You aren’t going to just bust it out, it requires working one step at a time. Now I can look back and pat myself on the back and say, “WOW I did this by working from the inside out!”

I started to align my mind, body, and spirit. And that right there is self-care!  I started this by blocking out a lot of the access noise.  In order for me to keep caring about my patients, when I left for home, I didn’t let myself get bombarded with things and left those things at work.  I left work at work and let my home be an area of peace and recharge!  I was practicing what I was preaching.  As simple as that is, that can be your first step for anyone reading this!

When you take an inventory of your life and daily life, what is the excess baggage that you are bringing home that you really don’t need to bring home? When you step through that door, what is it that you want that home to feel?  This is not to ignore your emotions and what goes on, and yes, we all need somewhere to talk and discuss, but HOW MUCH? What percentage of this? And what percentage of your time are you spending on this? What is the difference between the environment at work and at home? Where is your level of zen? What is your level of clarity? Where can you get clarity? Where is it if you bring everything consistently home?

The point of me and my self-care isn’t to say, “Oh, I set boundaries. It’s for me to show up better.” When I am showing up better, it’s because I worked on myself and built myself up.  I no longer have guilt for taking time off to take an extra 30 minutes to do something so I can build myself up and show up for my best self.

“I don’t have time…” This is something that I hear a lot.  So, I challenge you to take inventory of your damn time.  Get out of squirrel land, put down your phones and write down what you are doing every 30 minutes. This doesn’t have to be fancy, just so that you are aware how you are spending your time. Where can you free up time? Where are you wasting time?  If someone says they are busy, you can find that time. Trust me!

This is a big one, a place where we could free up a little time to reach our goals. And that has to do with sleeping or sleeping past your snooze. And I like to call this Mind over Mattress! If you really think about it, what is it that we love to do? It’s sleeping! We sleep on our mattresses!  This extra time we are snoozing and lying down, just snuggling all warm. To get up and get going is so challenging.  But there are things we know we need to get done in order to fulfill the goals we have set for that day, week, or month.  You see a lot of books on leadership and achieving your goals, and many of they say getup when the alarm goes off or before the alarm goes off.

Having a wake-up routine!
This is where I have incorporated the mind of the mattress. The alarm goes off, and I get up and go! That extra time we have all circles back to providing your more time or that extra time you needed for yourself.  The extra 30 minutes is my time to myself.  I do the routine that helps to power me for the day.  I want to enter into my day. I don’t want my day to enter into me.  Mel Robbins recommends moving the phone or alarm to the other side of the room, so you have to get up. ( Or look into her 54321 get-up concept.)

Get up and get out to get things done!

Ladies, there is no ideal scenario here when it comes to doing something for yourself. It’s individualized.  That is why it’s called self care. Can you create something within your family that allows you to have a set amount of time and space for you? Take the time out to work on your mind!  Our minds can either build us or break us!  We are humans, we are flawed by nature, and we learn from whatever mistakes we have made. We course correct and move on. We cannot wallow in those mistakes. Loving our bodies and thanking our bodies are so important. As we go through all these phases in life it’s so important.  We are trying to be healthy, and it’s so amazing whether we do self care or work out. It is getting us closer to loving ourselves more than ever before!

Broken down into the 5 B’s to help us work on ourselves. These 5 B’s are additional building blocks to really find the essence of you to get to that space where you can be at your best for yourself and those around you.
1. We need to give up our Busy Badges.
2. We need to figure out if what we are doing is breaking us or building us.
3. Then we have to start to build resilience around our boundaries.
4. Being okay that we are setting those boundaries.
5. Blocking out the access noise.

You have to regularly give yourself grace.
You didn’t arrive at the mind over mattress. You were like, “How do I jumpstart my day and stop these snoozes?” This isn’t something that comes naturally to you. This was 2 years in the making.  As with every habit you build, it takes that 1% change at a time and it accumulates. Then it turns into a part of who you are.  I start with these small techniques from what others are doing. I look at what they are doing, see what speaks to me from that, tweak it for me and work on what I can do right now.  Take that laundry list of things and what feels drawn to you. What is challenging BUT doable?

Choose to own your shit.
If you say, you know that I am a night owl and I like to stay up, you can’t complain about why you can’t get up in the morning.  You have to OWN why you cannot.  If you have a characteristic that you would like to change, and you are not ready, then you are not ready and that is okay!  Acknowledge it!  It’s not that you can’t do something, it’s that you choose not to. So just own that and be okay with it!

Example..
If you are trying to wake up earlier, start with 15-minute increments. I didn’t muscle myself to mind over the mattress overnight. It was a small drip every single day.  If there were days when my mind didn’t want to do it, our minds wouldn’t want to change! So, when you are trying to incorporate change and understand how the mind works, you will understand why it feels so challenging in the beginning.  When you try to incorporate those changes, your mind will start to change and become less challenging!

It’s not going to be a smooth process. You will have setbacks. But just be sure that you are owning those setbacks.  Be like a CSI – what happened? So that way you know what the obstacle is.  You will know what you need to do to work around that obstacle!   The goal is to train yourself to get up WITH that alarm. You know that you have chosen at that time to accomplish those goals you set.  That is your promise to yourself so that you can get those goals accomplished.

Dr. Tamara Beckford is so relatable and all that she does is so doable, you can find what gives you your zen! If you live that busy badge life, what are some of the ways that you can bring a little bit of this so we can have our zen time? Even if it takes 15 minutes or a car ride home. How do we create that resilience that we need?

What makes you feel magical?
I think my magic comes from within and being able to give throughout. My magic is inside and one of my zen that I recognize is that I have this really nice ability for people to feel at ease very quickly. With that, I am able to motivate others because I am able to hit them at the core. This is a beautiful gift that I did not realize that I had until I tracked it with another retrospective analysis of my life, and this is probably why I do ER medicine as my practice. You come to the ER nervous, anxious, and angry and as an ER doctor, I have to get into the essence of you and connect with you in a very short period of time and bring you ease. I recognize that is my magic and that is what makes me spark!

LINKS

Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/kimbarnesjeffersoncoach

Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website:
https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

Alcohol Guide:
https://www.fitgirlmagic.com/alcohol-resource-guide_organic/

Dr. Tamara Beckford Website:
www.urcaringdocs.com

Life Balance Through Selfcare Program:
https://www.urcaringdocs.com/offers/rRfQoodt/checkout

Dr. Tamara Beckford Show:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-tamara-beckford-show/id1553710706

Dr. Tamara Beckford YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/c/URCaringDocs

Dr. Tamara Beckford Twitter:
https://twitter.com/URcaringdocs

Dr. Tamara Beckford Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/urcaringdocs/

Dr. Tamara Beckford Personal Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/drtamarabeckford

Dr. Tamara Beckford UrCaringDocs Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/URcaringdocs

Dr. Tamara Beckford LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drtamarabeckford/

Mel Robbins 5-Second Rule:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI2VQ-ZsNr0&feature=youtu.be

Mel Robbins 5-Second Rule Book:
https://amzn.to/3xn6Ztx

The post Are You Ready To Give Up The Busy Badge? appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

Stress Free Summer Master Class This class is for you if you’ve ever said if you tell me what to do I’ll do it. If I. had a process to follow, I’d follow it. Well, here it is! I’ll be breaking it down on Sunday, June 5th 7pm EST. Can’t make it live there will be a reply.  https://www.fitgirlmagic.com/sfs-webby-2022

The post Making Time for Self-Care (Even if you’re Super-Busy appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

This person said this to me in such a factual way, that it hung in front of me like a fog.  I had the opportunity to walk into it and claim it, or I could turn away from it! I kept thinking what if I chased my career for too long and I missed this opportunity and I just had to let that sink in.

Carrie turned to her writing community to help process what she just heard. She wanted to take this experience and write about it, write about her experience. She realized there have to be other 30 something entrepreneur with no kids having the same questions and doubts she was. She shared her experience, and their response blew her away! Women from all over the world were proclaiming her story as their own. THIS was a major turning point in her life! And this was a huge catalyst for how Unapologetically Enough began!

Many people say fucked up shit to us and we let them get away with it and we don’t say anything because we think we’ll come off as confrontational!  A lot of us shy away from hard conversations or fail to bring it up or say something because we just don’t want to go there, but as we navigate life, there are those red flags that we may not even identify as a red flag, or it falls under the category of I can fix that. If we are going to be unapologetic about our life, we have to see the red flag for what it is and MOVE ON!

For Carrie, she really had to go back and accept all of the decisions she made through her life to lead her to the space she was in. She had to come to terms with the fact that SHE WAS ENOUGH on that date and after. She was enough in the decision to get IVF. She owned her stuff, had a come to Jesus conversation, took accountability for why she was where she was and owned the decisions she made. The boundaries she put in place for herself and that concept of being unapologetic has been brewing inside of her for so long! And she took all of the things that she went through as the opportunity to write this book!

“Until you let go and really think about what it is I truly want, can you get to that unapologetic place.”

I talk about burnout often in my podcasts and Carrie is no stranger to that, just like MANY of us women.  She experienced burnout because she couldn’t handle the demands, she put on herself and she was consumed by her career. She let it become her identity which resulted in her losing all concept of what balance is.  When she gets off kilter or something has happened where she cannot function, it’s because Carrie has lost sense of her intuition and internal peace, and lost sense of her deeper knowingness of being unapologetically enough. 

So how do we work through that?

When I get the feeling, I have to go, go, go and I can’t stop or forget to breath past my chest, I am like, “Okay, I need to breath, tomorrow the stuff on my plate can wait and I will take mental health breaks.”  The concept of being unapologetically enough for me, anything I choose to do that day is unapologetically enough.  On the days I am running too hard or pushing I step back and remind myself that I am capable without grinding.  I also have days where I choose to sit back and relax, remind myself that it is okay to not do everything at the same time.  Some days you need the mental health and be okay with sitting around reading a book all day. And other days you can go hard and get shit done.  But what happens is that so many of us feel we cannot honor that natural rhythm we have of being here or here… And we have to start honoring ourselves.

One of the big things I took from this book was about redefining success.  Success can and will look different at different times in our lives.  And that is totally okay!  We can change old programming as we get older, and it is okay to do that.  Redefining what success meant for Carrie was creating hard boundaries within her career.  It meant that it was all about her feelings. It’s not about input or output.  Instead, she will give herself more or less tasks depending on how she is feeling. And if she feels good and she doesn’t choose to do anything else the rest of that day, it is still a success for her!  Carrie’s definition of success is how she feels each day!

It is okay to do this and define success this way.  It is okay to set strong boundaries and stick to them, unapologetically!  It is okay to do things for yourself and set boundaries around doing something for yourself.  Something that is ME focused.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that!  There is a conversation for women a lot of times around putting themselves first. Is it selfish? Self-care? That is why Carrie is focused on the concept of self-love vs self-care. Self-care has always been something to pamper ourselves or buy something.  But self-love is saying yes to this or putting on a clean shirt, and it doesn’t have to be much of anything.

“I learned self-love bed ridden. All it was me giving myself permission to take a nap.  There isn’t anything wrong with putting ourselves first and it’s incredibly important. I really hope more women speak up about it and talk to their friends about it. Lead into the idea of loving ourselves intensely!”

Set boundaries and rules in your life and be unapologetic for them. Work towards personal development and ways to look at yourself and form better relationships with yourself.  Because it all starts with yourself, it all starts from within.  If you feel better about yourself, that is the energy that you put out.  That is what you will attract into your life. YOU are the CEO of your life, and only you.  So, start making it known and allowing yourself to be unapologetically enough!!!!

Carrie’s book Unapologetically Enough: Reshaping Success & Self Love is out now so you HAVE to grab it and read it! I know women all over the world are going to relate to this and just LOVE it!

What makes you feel magical?
I love that word! Honestly this. This book. Putting this out into the world.  Having the guts and courage to see this through, feels magical. The Enough is pink rose gold glitter, what my wedding dress looked like when I got married on zoom and we carried it through the chapter headings. THIS is magical for me. And I am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to talk about it.

LINKS

Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/kimbarnesjeffersoncoach

Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website:
https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

Stress-Free Summer Waitlist:
https://www.fitgirlmagic.com/stressfreesummer22_waitlist/

Carrie Severson Website:
https://unapologeticallyenough.com/

Carrie Severson Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/the_unapologetic_voice_house/

Carrie Severson Tiktok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@carrieseverson

Carrie Severson Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/carrieseverson.storyteller

Carrie Severson; Unapologetically Enough: Reshaping Success & Self Love:
https://amzn.to/3Mr3qXT

The post You Are Enough appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

This podcast I had to chance to sit down with Emily Nichols who is ALL ABOUT the self-care!  She has spent the last 5 years working on self-care for her and making sure she is taken care of and now she is on a mission to help women realize that Self Care Isn’t Selfish. 

Emily’s life was changed in 2015 when she found Whole30 and her, self-care journey snowballed from there into a love of fitness, a deep dive into habit research, and daily personal development to change her mindset. Emily is now a Whole30 Certified Coach, Personal Trainer who hosts group/private coaching and course and is the host of The Self Care Isn’t Selfish Podcast, where she brings on expert guests and her own expertise in self-care as a coach to help her audience transform their lives by crafting their own simple and sustainable self-care routine. Her goal in life is to coach other women to “put their oxygen masks on first” and stop merely surviving and start thriving.

When you ask someone about what self-care means to them, the answer is always going to be different.  For Emily, self-care means putting herself first without the guilt and taking a really holistic view of her wellness.  It starts with physical for Emily and moving her body, then mental, emotional and spiritual as well, and they all piggyback off of each other!!  So, she makes sure she starts this in the morning and trickle it in throughout the day.  She has to make sure she puts on her oxygen mask first so that she is able to breathe and show up for her kids, for her podcast, for her clients, for her husband, friends, family and whoever else she is in contact with.

All of this is great right’

But it really doesn’t mean anything UNLESS you are taking care of yourself guilt-free.  As a mom, how many of you feel guilty for doing something for YOURSELF!’  But listen to me!  You NEED that mommy time; you need to make yourself a priority!  Selfcare is a habit you have to practice over time, and you start to get those amazing benefits and the guilt slowly starts to fade away. You begin to realize that you are a lot more patient with your kids!  But you would feel a lot more guilt if you were yelling at your kids all the time instead of showing up as the best version of yourself!!  You take better care of you! And that simple shift helps you to see other areas that needed improvement.

Start small and do a little at a time.

Mamas, we know that being a parent is really really hard and there are all of these different stages as the kids grow up. And when they are really little self-care is hard at that time and sleep is hard at that time so what comes first’  What is the priority’  If you are able to just take a small amount of time throughout the day for self-care and be willing to change as your life changes with your children, it is going to make you better for the long haul!  A lot of people don’t believe in balance when it comes to this, but I think that there is a way to find some kind of HARMONY!  Harmony within your life, within your daily lives, to get to a better you!

Emily brought me something she uses with her clients and people she talks with about this and it is called the 3 Pillars when it comes to self-care, and these include, Mindset, Movement and Food Freedom!  And I just LOVEEEE THIS so much!

Let’s start with Food Freedom. 

This doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s a way to work on yourself so that you are not relying on food for when you are stressed, or emotional or overwhelmed.  When Emily started looking at the way she dealt with stress, she realized that when she was stressed and had a bunch of anxiety, she would turn to chocolate chip cookies.  And she would mindlessly eat cookies while she thought about everything that she didn’t accomplish that day.  Then she turned to alcohol and was drinking to forget about what was going on to get that buzz. And she knew that this was not healthy, and it didn’t make her feel good!

So, when she was feeling like this and feeling overwhelmed or stressed, or craving something, instead of eating or drinking, she would go outside for a walk!  Food is soooo emotional and so many emotions tie to it!  So, the best way to help with this is to implement new strategies to help you not turn to food or alcohol when you are stressed or overwhelmed. (and don’t worry, she still ate the cookies, she just didn’t eat the entire bag!)

The best way to figure out what is going on and how to help with it is to take it step by step to see what really happens. And put these steps together to find what your patterns are so that you can work on them!

Next, we are talking about Movement!  

We HAVE TO move out bodies!  And if it is even for 5 minutes a day that is better than nothing!   This has got to be the most important pillar of self-care because it has this domino effect.  When Emily and other women move their bodies, it helps to clear your mind, and sometimes feels like a spiritual moment and you can feel really confident!  And then by doing this, it falls into other parts of your life.

By moving your body daily, it Inspires myself and others to be strong women, not just physically but mentally.   And walking did this for Emily.  She implemented it when COVID hit because well… we couldn’t go anywhere!   It would be the time for Emily to have alone time, walk a mile have that quiet time for your day!   She feels like she is in the best shape of her life and right now she is not really working out.  So, walk and do strength training 3 times a week or more to really get you moving and grooving and feeling good!

Alright, last pillar! MINDSET!  

For Emily, mindset means being in tune with her body.  She strongly believes that there is a mind-body connection and feels like when she is  not in a good headspace or not feeling really confident in myself right now and have negative feelings, it can manifest physically in your body. Prior to her self-care journey, she never had times (made the time) to tune into her body and see the patterns.  But now she is more in tune and her mindset is strong enough to listen to her body and her body listens to her mind.  Mindset is connected to both your emotions and mental health, and mindset can start with just getting your thoughts out and different ways to express your emotions

A huge way to start right now is to start and end each day with gratitude.  Write down what you are grateful for in the beginning and end of each day in a notebook and I know that it will help your mindset because it has helped with Emily tremendously.  I love writing, and you know I love journaling, so this is something I have experience with, and it works!! Just get started and see how it all plays out!

Don’t forget that this is a gradual process.  We all fight change and fight for what we want, and we want our life.  Change is fucking hard and we don’t want to change, but if you start with one thing, not a long list, it’s easier to get started.   It is ok to test things out to see what works and what time of day and being ok with that and giving myself grace.   This is a strange and insane season right now that we are going through with covid and what is going on in the country and our lives and you just have to give yourself grace.

Be sure to experiment with different things you can try through the day and see what you can fit into your day to feel better!  You also need to check in with yourself and ask, where am I now’ What is possible right now’ Vs always trying to “get back” to where we were.  What can you work on differently, now that we are home to get you moving and freeing yourself from food and shifting that mindset’

Self-care can seem really hard, but when it’s not, then it’s like “Oh, is this working what am I doing’”  And just being open to changing and making small changes as you move along is what is going to get you to that point where you want to be.  Living a better version of yourself for you and your family!   To get started,  grab Emily’s Self Care Checklist Freebie to help women start crafting their own simple self-care routine!

What makes you feel magical’

Finding harmony in my life.  And that starts with self-care and you can feel that inner magic when your life is in harmony and inflow.  If something is off-key, just change it and figure out how to make it work and that is magical to me.  – Emily Nichols

LINKS

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FabFitSquad

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website: https://kimbarnesjefferson.com/

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

www.instagram.com/emilynichols22

www.emily-nichols.com

Self Care Isn’t Selfish Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-self-care-isnt-selfish-podcast/id1475486523

Self Care Checklist Freebie to help women start crafting their own simple self-care routine: https://mailchi.mp/16c89e0859ea/selfcarefreebie

The post How To Do Self Care And Not Feel Guilty appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.

Deanna is the founder of Elevate Moms Lifestyle Design, a mom of 4, and she helps teach other moms the mindset of practical and powerful self-care so that they can stop surviving their days and start thriving instead. She has tons of amazing info, and I love how she is trying to start of movement of helping women to break free of feeling like they must be the “do it all” Mom.

I was so excited to have had to chance to sit down and talk with her, because so many of my magic makers are MOMMAS!! You are trying to do it all AND trying to be the perfect mom, you are tired and run down and feeling like plan crap every single day! Deanna wants to make sure that moms everywhere are taking better care of themselves, and it starts with self-care!  She wants you to know that self-care doesn’t have COST YOU A CENT!  And it can be done right at home, here is where she challenges you to broaden your definition of what self-care really is.

When you got pregnant what did you do’  You read all the mommy blogs, got all the books and we think that motherhood should be hard, that motherhood should be self-sacrifice and that YOU should suffer. And a lot of women don’t even realize that we have been indoctrinated into that feeling.   You want to be everything for your kids, their spiritual lifeline, their best friend, entertain them all day, and it is just not humanly possible. Yet you feel guilty if you don’t live up to this’ I will tell you why, because the expectations we have given ourselves and adopted are unreasonable!

Look at past generations before us, mothers did not do what mother’s do today…. Hell, half of them didn’t even see their kids for the entire day because they were out and about.  Most of them were not emotionally attached to their kids, they did not play with their kids and didn’t give a flying fig if we sat in front of the TV all day long!  But then, moms became the complete opposite of that.  Women became programmed that we need to be everything for everyone, and it is taking an emotional toll on moms everywhere.  Fortunately, we are starting to see a shift in the opposite direction and that is where Deanna wants to take the revolution, to smack dab in the middle of those two ends of the parenting spectrum!

Moms CAN be close to their kids and have amazing relationships with them, but also cannot be everything for them.

They need to teach them how to be emotionally resilient and emotionally independent. They need to teach them how to do things on their own and how to be more independent.  What we really need is a good emotional relationship with our kids but fostering independence with them at the same time. And it can be done!  And by doing this it is going to save your ass from feeling emotionally burnt out every single day of the week!

Alright, so you are reading this and you are burnt the fuck out and you literally see yourself smoking, you are a shell of a human being and you don’t even know where YOU are anymore. What do you do’  Where do you start when you have finally reached this point”’

1. What Deanna first does with her clients is, she has them declare that “I AM WORTH IT, and I am not going to settle for less than I deserve right now”.   But some don’t go right here because it goes against everything that they were taught.
2. She shows them a wider angle… “Would you want your child to feel the way you are feeling right now when they grow up’”. No, because we don’t want this for them right!’
3. Then, she teaches them how to be a whole healthy human being again.  “Allow yourself to be a whole human being and take care of yourself in the same way you would take care of your children.”

Now, what if you are one of those people who are reading this right now, or you listened to the podcast and you are wondering if you are giving too much’ Think of it as the Pinterest Parent, or the Pinterest Fail Parent. If being the Pinterest parent makes you feel good’ Then you’re ok!   But if it makes you feel exhausted, resentful and burnt out, then that is your sign.  Am I feeling resentful at all’ Energetically, do I feel uplifted and empowered and good, or does it make me feel burnt out, resentful and angry when I am doing these things’ So, take some time and really think about this… which one are you’

With this quarantine we are in right now, the resentment you have been feeling could totally be bubbling up because we are together 24/7 with our kids and every feeling you have ever felt is just coming to a head… And everything we were feeling brought smack into the spotlight. You are feeling more overwhelmed than ever because you are now in the role of mom, spouse, caretaker, and teacher!  So, this can be a great opportunity to make some changes right now, or it can be bringing up that you have been making the right decisions and reaffirm that you are in a good place or a bad place right now.  PLUS, being home during this time, self-care is more important than ever in taking care of you and the resentment that you are feeling.

Self-care is caring about YOU and caring about YOUR EMOTIONS!  And it can be random, and it can be different every single day.  It is really about asking yourself, and WHAT YOU NEED RIGHT NOW, at that very moment to be rejuvenated.  Does it mean going in the shower or your closet and just crying’  [Crying and letting yourself get through it as a release is something you need. It’s a valid tool we take for granted. It’s our body releasing stress and it’s ok to have a bad day and be emotional!  You need to show your kids that we can have a bad day too just as they can.]  Does it mean you take a 20-minute walk alone to be away from everything and to regroup’  Does it mean passing the torch off to your partner so that you can be alone for a few minutes’  Or meditating in a quiet place like your closet in the dark for 5-10 minutes.

Self-care is overall a WAY OF THINKING and 90% of what you will be doing will be in your head and won’t take any time. Just a perspective shift, and the way you talk to yourself and treat yourself.  Self-care mindset is about being gracious with yourself, being self-compassionate and respecting yourself and your body.  You NEED to give yourself grace, and it is more important now than it has ever been!

Another important part about taking care of yourself and creating the right mindset is making sure that you really tune into your feelings rather than bypassing them when they come up.  It’s okay to be mad at your kids, and it’s OKAY for your kids to be mad at you!  Let me say that again, IT IS OKAY FOR YOUR KIDS TO BE MAD AT YOU!  Moms have such a hard time with their kids being mad at them but need to get comfortable with it and know it’s for their greater good!  Just remember to always talk to them with respect, and instead of talking at them, really have conversations with them and get them into the thinking process of what we are going through.

Just acknowledge whether you are feeling mad or sad, name it and get it out.  DO NOT JUDGE YOUR FEELINGS!! If you are pissed off at being a mom right now, then feel pissed off!  No shame, it is okay to say that you hate being a mom today or saying it’s too hard I can’t handle it. It’s okay to have those feelings, they do not need to be right or wrong. There are just there, and they need to be acknowledged so you can move through it.  NO ONE can judge you for that and you cannot judge yourself for feeling that way! Feelings are a part of us, and we are allowed to feel any way that we want!  But just remember that this feeling will pass!!

If you are feeling overwhelmed and resentful and you know that your typical self-care routine is not cutting it and really helping you to be the mommy you want to be than reach out to Deanna. Self-care is an art form! It is about finding creative ways to do things more efficiently and a better way that makes you feel better.. It is about saying it’s okay and giving yourself grace through the entire process!   

PLEASE go and follow Deanna if you are a mom and feeling burnt out! She has simple stuff and you know me; I love simple! I don’t have time for complicated and neither do you!

If you could have one magical power what would it be’

Deanna:  I would love to be psychic! I totally believe in life beyond us. I just wish I could tune into my psychic intuition. Really into all that super woo woo stuff! And wish it could be my superpower that I tune in to all of that!

LINKS:

@DeannaSchober – IG

FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfcarerebels/

Website: elevatemoms.com

Podcast: fitness and sushi podcast https://builtdaily.com/podcast/

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FabFitSquad

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/

Website: https://www.fabfitsquad.com/

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fit-girl-magic-healthy-living-for-women-over-40/id1476883661

The post What You Really Need To Know About Self-Care appeared first on Kim Barnes Jefferson.